Page 40 of The Transfer
“Hey, Rea Rea.” He barely gets the words out before his voice cracks with emotion.
I open the door all the way to let him in because I don’t want anyone witnessing our conversation. The last thing either of us wants is to end up on social media again. Since he’s been here a few times, hewalks over and plops on the couch. His body is hunched over as I go and sit across on the opposite end but turn my body so I can talk to him.
Hoping to get this over with, I try to talk, but Drew cuts me off.
“I’m so sorry, Reagan. I don’t know what happened on Halloween, but I feel like a jerk for what I said and for kissing you like that.”
“I appreciate the apology, Drew. It hurt me that you used a moment that should be private and for us to make a point and manipulate Riggs.”
“I know. I lost my head.” He scoots a little closer so he can grab my hand. “Please, tell me that we can get past this. I don’t want to lose you. Reagan, I love you.”
“You love me?” I ask him, dumbfounded.
I feel like I’ve just been punched in the stomach as Drew stares at me, eyes glittering with unshed tears and pure hope and vulnerability radiating off his face.
“I love everything about you, Rea Rea. I always have.” He gives me a hopeful smile.
“Drew, you don’t even really know me. Not the person I am today. You know the girl I was.” I look down to break eye contact with him. I wasn’t expecting him to say anything like this, but what’s an even bigger surprise is that it changes nothing.
Finally gaining the courage I need, I return my eyes to his, and he gives me the signature Drew Cole smile that’s haunted my dreams for so long. But lately, it’s deep green eyes that I see.
“Drew, everything you’re saying to me is what I always wanted you to say when we were younger. High school Reagan would be so happy to hear you admit your feelings to me.” He smiles wide at that.
“But.” That one word has his whole face falling into despair. “We aren’t in high school anymore. I have love for you, Drew, but it isn’t the same way you love me.”
“It’s Hart, isn’t it?” He isn’t angry, just resigned to the fact that he won't get what he came for today.
“Drew—”
He interrupts me. “Don’t answer that. I already know. I think that’s why I went so hard on Halloween. The way he knows you is different from the way I do. It kills me to admit that. I don’t know if I’ll ever get over you, Reagan Mills.”
A tear slips down my cheek as I hear those words. This is the end of something I thought would be forever. Listening to Drew, I realize he thought so too.
“I never wanted to hurt you, Drew,” I say it quietly and truthfully.
“This isn’t on you, Rea Rea. This is life. This is love, and I would never be able to live with myself if I got in the way of your happiness.”
“You, Drew Cole, are a good man. Let the world see this version of you.”
“I’ll try, beautiful girl. But I think I’m only this man around you. You make everyone around you better than they really are.”
When he does look up at me, I see tears have started falling down his cheeks as well. I find myself next to him with my arms around him in an instant. He’s clinging to me in an embrace that feels like the end.
Pulling back, Drew forces a smile, and I give him what I hope is a genuine one.
“Be happy, Rea Rea. You deserve everything and more.”
“You, too, Drew.”
I stand and watch him walk out the front door. Hearing his Mustang start moments later and squeal onto the road, I finally let myself be consumed by the emotions eating me up inside.
I let go of Drew Cole.
TWENTY-NINE
REAGAN
The second week of November means it’s Titans Give Back, and I will spend most of it getting final preparations ready for Thursday night.
