Page 68 of The Transfer
“I know what you’re doing right now. I’ve been there. Don’t let too much time go by before you reach out to Reagan. I may not say much, but I see a lot. I’ve never seen Rea look at anyone the way she looks at you, and you look at her the same way. Learn from my mistake, don’t repeat it.”
It takes a minute to process all that Williams just shared with me.
“You’re telling me that no one else knows about this?” I think the guys would lay off if they knew the whole story.
“I think Lindsey has told Reagan some of it, but it’s not really a story I feel like needs to be public knowledge. I’ve always kept my private life private. But you needed to hear it. The team, we’re worried about you. You’re going to injure yourself if you continue to overdo it in the gym. We need you, but healthy. That means physically and mentally.”
His words hit the target he intended. I know I’m not coping well, but I also don’t know how to change what I’m doing.
“What do I do?” I ask, my voice breaking a little. I don’t do the vulnerable thing with many people, but Williams, of all people, knows what it’s like to grieve a huge loss.
“Lean on your teammates. Talk to the coach. Let Reagan in. Focus on the ball, but don’t let it take over your life. Maybe talk to a professional. It helped me.” He’s honest, and I needed to hear it.
“Thank you. I know you don’t say a lot, but when you do, it’s powerful. The team needs your silent leadership, but having you vocalize it would be incredible too.”
He takes in what I’ve said with a curt nod, and he stands. Then he puts his hand on my shoulder.
“I think between you and Mills, we have all we need this year. But I’ll step up when it’s my time. I’m gonna head out, but if you need someone who gets it, I’m here for you, man.”
“Thanks, Williams.” That’s all I get out before he walks out the door.
Sitting back down on my couch, I rub my hands down my face, trying to process the past few hours.
I can’t do this alone anymore. I don’t want to.
FIFTY-ONE
RIGGS
We have reached Senior Night, our final home game at CTU. It feels surreal to be here. As a team, we are exactly where we want to be. In the standings, we are technically tied with Durham, but we won the tiebreaker game against them and will be the top seed in the conference tournament next weekend.
Before I arrived at the gym, I opened the first letter from my dad. It was filled with all the things I would expect him to say, and it’s inspired me and fueled me to leave it all out on the court tonight. I want to give my all to my team for as many games as we have left to play.
At center court, I walk my mom to meet Coach and get my framed jersey, a memento to remind each senior of their place at Carolina Tech. We pose for pictures, and I’m missing my dad tremendously. It’s emotional and incredible at the same time. The entire ceremony serves as a reminder that this is my last time playing on the CTU Titans court, and I want to leave my mark.
After all the pomp and circumstance, it’s time toplay the game.
Despite the extra time I’ve invested in perfecting my skills, I still struggle. The first few games back were good, great even. However, these last three have seen a slow decline in my play. My shots aren’t hitting; my passes are messy or being stolen before they reach my teammates. It’s not like me, but everyone has been encouraging and kind. Thankfully, my teammates are picking up my slack, and we’re still winning the games.
Despite the frustration of my own play, we led by twenty at halftime. Early in the second half, the coach takes Jordan and me, the two seniors, out of the game to a huge round of applause and cheering.
The rest of the game flies by, and we win big. Regular season co-champions and heading into the conference tourney at the top. I can’t wait to suit up in Charlotte and win the conference tournament. Then we get to dance the big dance, also known as the NCAA tournament, which is our ultimate goal. I know we can win it. I feel it deep down.
I see my mom hugging Reagan behind the bench. After the last few games, Reagan has bolted before I’ve even had a chance to look at her. Our only words exchanged have been the ones that got me through my first game back. Just thinking about her fills me with so many conflicting emotions, but the strongest one is a deep-seated need. I need her back in my life desperately. But I can’t have her. Not after what I did. Not when I have the most important games of my life to play.
Mom,Jake, Lane, and I are at a nice Italian place not too far from campus. It’s the first time I’ve felt like a normal guy, not the one whose Dad just died a month ago. I’m not sure whether I should be grateful for it or feel guilty. Dinner is delicious, and the conversation flows easily between all of us.
That is, until Lane brings up Reagan.
“Riggs, how is Reagan? I haven’t seen her after the games like normal. It just isn’t like her not to come and say hi.”
I grimace, and when I look at my mom, her face falls. She doesn’t know every detail of what happened, but I did tell her the basics, so she wouldn’t think Reagan was ignoring us. I guess that worked, considering I saw them together tonight.
I don’t have words to answer, not the right ones at least.
“I’m not sure. We’re just friends, but I haven’t really talked to her much lately.”
Lane’s jaw almost hits the table, and Jake looks stunned.
