Page 7 of Bearly Yours
So, for those hoping to find their mate they usually didn’t date around. In fact, most of the time, the first time they went out with someone was with their mate; they were that dedicated.
Mate detecting was done primarily through our sense of smell, but it was also a sixth sense we were born with, and it happened right away upon meeting the right person. There were no guessing games. We just knew. And that was true for all shifters, from the tiny alpine foxes to the huge dragon shifters.
Well, it was true for all shifters except for shifters like me.
I sighed, and Mateo glanced at me, eyeing me in concern. I shrugged and gave him a wry attempt at a smile. Not gonna lie. The whole not being able to find my mate was an ache so deep it sometimes hurt to breathe. But I was a pro at trying to ignore it. I used those skills now and stared at Mateo with my chin on my fist, pondering him and all of his awesomeness. He was quietly talking with the alpha, but could obviously feel my gaze, because he glanced at me and bulged his eyes, making me laugh.
Mateo was on the quiet side, and even though he was quite large, he was smaller than many of the others at the table. He had copper-brown skin and mesmerizing hazel eyes. When you looked at him, you got the sense that he noticedeverything.Literally. Everything. I’d heard from the others that his IQ was off the charts. I didn’t know how old he was, but he appeared to be in his thirties, like all of us at the table except for Sullivan and Drew.
I moved my gaze to Taco. Taco—well, he really needed no introduction. He was definitely our larger-than-life class clown. He was also protective, and warm, and full of natural charisma, which he used to the detriment of the paranormal and human race. He was also the biggest flirt in our Clan, bar-none. I adored him. He never failed to get a laugh out of me.
Sullivan, our Clan chef, looked like he was in his mid-fifties, so in bear shifter age he was probably approaching a century old. He’d never mated and was kind of a loner, but he’d still wanted to live close to the Clan. He was a good chef. He cooked for us and lived in a little house just down the path a bit.
Opposite me was Mathan. His name sounded like Mahan out loud, with the t being silent. Mathan was our grumpy black bear Second, which in a bear Clan is the third in charge, in case the alpha and First are killed or incapacitated. He’s from Scotland so his speech is heavy on the brogue and he has reddish-brown curly hair, and a close-cut mustache and beard. His eyes are a startling, deep-as-a-lake blue.
Alastair and Mathan joined the Moonhaven Cove Bear Clan together. Alastair’s shifted form was also a black bear, and the two of them speaking sounded like moonlight and a cozy fire, which was what the Scottish accent sounded like to me with all of its rolling r’s and sexy brogue.
Don’t ask. I have a thing for accents. I think most people do, so I know I’m not alone.
Fitz was down at the other end of the long table. Fitz’s full name was Fitzgerald, but no one called him that except for his employees, where he was the CEO of the Moonhaven CoveCredit Union. His mate, June, was the bank vice president, so their cubs stayed with Akeno during the day.
Finally, of those I was closest to, there was Zin, our mellow, chocolate-complected panda bear. He maintained the lodge, was very deliberate in his speech and actions, and could usually be counted on to be one of the wisest and least hot-headed bear shifters in the Clan.
With all of these attractive males around me, you would think I would possibly find my mate among them, but not a single one of them felt like more than a Clan brother to me, and everyone here saw me as a sister. I was mostly okay with this, although at times, like tonight, it was disappointing. It would have been so convenient and lovely to have my mate in my home Clan and not feel these hopeless things for a certain dragon shifter.
To put it bluntly, my dating life had not been going well. Two years ago, right around the time I’d met Roarke, I’d decided—despite my crippling anxiety and shyness—to put myself out there and date more. I knew I’d never find my mate, but I’d thought, in the absence of a mate bond, I could find someone else to share my life with.
I mean, humans did it all the time. How hard could it be?
I laughed at my younger, naive self, and wished I could smack some sense into her, because dating wasinsanelyhard. Like, doing math dosed up on Benadryl after a night of no sleep trying to juggle flaming knives hard. And sometimes you dropped the knives, and they stabbed you.
Dating was not for sissies.
Either there was no chemistry, they couldn’t let go of their dumb stereotypes about bear shifters, or they saw me as a sex object because I was so curvy and well endowed. I’d had more than one date stare at my chest all evening. This had left mefeeling uncomfortable and red-faced until Roarke had come out to rescue me and tossed those males out of his restaurant.
If the eyes were the windows to the soul, then most males didn’t seem to care for a female’s soul at all.
Which I thought was really a shame, as our souls were the best part of us.
I knew attraction was essential. I got it. But looks faded, and then what were you left with if your relationship had been built on just attraction and not friendship? Not a dang thing.
The food got passed around, and everyone was quiet as we filled our bellies with Sullivan’s rice, vegetable, and sausage gumbo. There was even garlic twisty bread and hot fudge lava cake for dessert. We all thanked him for the meal as he finally sat down. He nodded quietly and dug into his own food.
June came in late with her two cubs, Ally and Ben, who were eight and ten, and they sat next to their dad, talking quietly with him and catching up on their day. The cubs were usually decent about using their inside voices because Akeno taught them better in school, but the older adult males were not so great at this.
Alpha Riggs took a drink from his ice water and glanced around the table, much as I was doing. His gaze touched on the twelve or so bear shifters sitting there, then he turned to his First. “Clan meeting tomorrow in the lodge overlook. Mandatory.”
“Yes, Alpha.”
The alpha’s ice blue eyes shifted to me, and I froze. Wait, I hadn’t done anything wrong! Down autonomic nervous system, down.
You’re not in trouble, Emrie, but I need to speak with you after dinner, okay?
I nodded.Yes, Alpha.I had to set my spoon down because my hand had started shaking so badly.
Maybe he wanted me to design more houses? I couldn’t really imagine him wanting to see me for anything else, unless it was for one of his random check-ins to see how I was doing. He did that frequently with the Clan bears. While I liked this idea less, I could handle it. Hopefully without bursting into tears or throwing up.
Ugh, anxiety was theworst!
