Page 54 of To Crave Darkly
“Of course. I never liked keeping them anyway.” His mouth twisted like he had tasted something awful and I knew he felt the same way about secrets as I did. That was good to know. It made me feel like I could trust him to always tell me the truth, no matter how much it would hurt, and I needed someone like that in my life right now to help me navigate through this clusterfuck that I seemed to have fallen into.
“Have you managed to assimilate fully with your demon yet?” Levi cut in, curiosity burning in his tone.
“Assimilate? What do you mean?”
“Well, you’ve never been aware of your demon until Orion awoke it, so you’ve never fully accepted that youarea demon. Somehow, I think you’ve compartmentalised her existence within you and, now that she’s awake, she’s really experimenting to see what she’s capable of.”
“But that’s dangerous right?” Fear turned my voice shallow as I looked between Levi and Fenris, seeking reassurance that everything was going to be ok.
It clearly wasn’t.
Fenris frowned deep in thought. “If you truly are a mage as well, it does worry me. Usually you would have grown into your powers from an early age, honing the skills as you mature. Such late manifestations rarely end well.”
I felt the colour drain from my face. “What happens to them? To people like me?”
Pity flashed in Fenris’ eyes and his mouth set into a grim line. Ireallywished I hadn’t asked that question, not when I suspected the answer might be horrifying. I wasn’t wrong.
“It has happened a few times before. It is rare to be discovered so late in life, but they all found that the power was too much for them. It burned through them and destroyed them from the inside out.”
Oh, God. What was happening to me? Panic seized my heart and squeezed it tightly. My chest pounded with the sudden abrupt onslaught of blood pumping through my veins. Heat prickled along my skin as my body trembled. My breaths turned shallow and a sense of overwhelming dread settled heavily in my stomach. A sob choked my throat and robbed my breath.
“Fenris, am I going to die?”
“No. I won’t let that happen.” He said it with so much sincerity and conviction that I almost believed him. He had this way of making anything sound possible even though I suddenly felt the cold icy hand of death brush my soul with a caress that was far too intimate. I could feel it lurking in the shadows just waiting for the moment it could finally claim me. “Lori, look at me.”
My head snapped up at Fenris’ sharp words.
“We will figure this out. You are strong and you are not on your own. Together we will figure this out.” His warm hands clasped the side of my face and the smile he gave me could have lit up the room. He was gorgeous and it really was distracting. “Come on now, deep breath.”
I did as he asked and took a deep calming breath. It did help somewhat but I still felt like I was standing at the edge of a precipice looking at my own demise at the bottom. I took another deep breath just for good measure but still exhaled shakily. I don’t think I was going to get used to this at all. I seemed to get used to one idea and then it was like the safety net was pulled out from underneath me, and I was free-falling down the rabbit hole all over again.
“Fenris, do you think the fact that Lori is a Sin Reaper would help?” Levi pondered, distracting me from comparing my life with Alice’s trip into Wonderland.
“How so?” Fenris asked, an adorable little curve raising his eyebrow. Standing this close to him I could see that his eyes weren’t just brown but a deep rich umber with gold flecks flickering in their depths. A small scar ran across his left cheekbone and it added a roguish touch to his warm features.
“What if the demon can help keep the magic at bay? The Sin Reaper is a powerful being, perhaps she can balance the destructive nature generated by the untapped magic?” Levi rummaged through the paperwork on his desk to find his notebook and jotted a few things down as he spoke.
“I suppose it could be possible… We’ve never had a mage who was also a demon.” Fenris’ eyes glazed over as he disappeared into his own thoughts. He tucked his bottom lip in between his teeth, gnawing on it as he fell deeper into his thoughts. I had the sudden urge to pull it from between his teeth.
Whoa… This was not the moment to be thinking like that. We were contemplating my doom and it was not the time to be fantasising about how soft those lips would feel. I took a step backwards and lost my footing. My heel connected with a pile of books and I yelped as my body started a sudden descent towards the floor. An arm reached out and grabbed my waist, and I was yanked firmly against the solid wall of a chest.
“You okay there?” I felt the deep rumble of Fenris’ words more than I heard them. My gaze travelled upwards and I found Fenris looking down at me with deep concern. I was such a clutz and my face heated up with embarrassment at my lack of grace.
“Um…yeah.” I stepped backwards and narrowly avoided tripping over another stack of books.
Fenris continued to stare at me, his brows knit as he looked me up and down. I thought he was only looking at me out of concern, but I could feel heat rise through my body as his eyes travelled the length of me. I swear there was something darker lurking in the depths of his umber eyes. There was an intensity about his face that wasn’t there before. His jaw clenched and I had the sudden urge to move closer to him. He’d never given me any indication that he wanted to be more than friends, and I was happy for it to stay that way. But if he kept looking at me like that, I wasn’t going to be responsible for the way I acted.
“Oh, I figured something else out about your mark Lori.” Thank God for Levi and his inability to keep his mind in the room. The tension shattered between us and Fenris went back to his usual happy self, the weird moment completely forgotten.
“What did you figure out?” I asked.
“Quite a few things actually. The dots aren’t just random. They are the constellation that make up Orion. See here.” Levi pointed to a random scrap of paper with a crudely drawn version of the mark on my chest. I could see he’d connected the dots, and there, right in the middle of the two facing crescent moons, was the constellation that had inspired Orion’s name. This symbol really was about him and me.
“What about the two moons? What do they mean?” I asked, hopeful for an explanation of the whole symbol.
Levi frowned. “That I haven’t quite figured out yet. I think it’s an old demonology symbol but I haven’t been able to decode it yet.”
Fenris squeezed my shoulder reassuringly. “What about the symbols, Levi? Did you manage to figure out what language they were?” Fenris’ breath tickled my cheek as he spoke. He really needed to take a step back. The man was far too distracting.
