Page 21 of To Crave Darkly
Chapter 12
LORI
Again, the world came into focus with blinding clarity, but from the way my body ached, I knew I wasn’t dead this time. I groaned. Everything hurt. My chest felt like it was under a ton of bricks and electricity tingled through my veins as I came back to the land of the living. Had I actually died?
The fuzziness of my vision cleared, and I began to take in my surroundings. Everything was white with a decidedly clinical-feel, but it wasn’t a hospital. There was no oppressive sense of suffering clinging to the air. Glass surrounded me on all sides and the monitors measuring my vitals beeped comfortingly behind me. At least I was definitely alive.
“Lori?” I followed the sound of the voice and Jasper’s face filled my vision. Tears filled my eyes as an overwhelming sense of relief flooded through me. I’d never really feared death before, but up until now I had never come quite so close to it. That was definitely not a trip I wanted to take any time soon. It could preferably wait until I was old and wrinkly and had a mass of grandbabies.
A set of black eyes flashed in my mind and a shudder ran up my spine. They were familiar, but I couldn’t place them. As I tried to recall them, the memory of them slipped further away. I knew they were important, that they belonged to someone important. Someone gripped my hand and when I looked down, Jasper had his large hand wrapped around my smaller one. His rough fingers curled around mine comfortingly and I became aware of the worry marring his brow. Seemed he cared more than he wanted to admit.
“Hi,” I said weakly. I swallowed, trying to lubricate my throat. Saying it felt like sandpaper was an understatement.
“Hello,” Jasper replied, smiling. God, I wished I had a camera. Mr. Grumpy Pants was actually smiling.
“How long have I been out?” I croaked.
“Only a few hours,” he replied.
“What happened?”
Jasper’s gaze found the floor. I could see that he felt shame for what he had done.
“Jasper, I am not angry with you. I knew the risk.”
He whipped his head back up with anger flashing in his eyes. “And you did it anyway?”
“Yes.”
He stood up and walked away from me. He found a steady rhythm pacing at the end of the bed, his head bowed and hands firmly on his hips. He looked pissed.
“Jasper, it’s ok, I...”
He whirled round to face me. “No, it’s not ok. I could have killed you!”
“But you didn’t. Look, I’m fine. I’m still here, still alive.” I gestured to my body, pointing out the evidence of my still beating heart clearly displayed beeping away on the monitor behind me.
“But you almost died.” His cool mask slipped, and I saw all the pain and guilt he felt. For a fleeting moment, I saw everything as clear as day written upon his face and my heart constricted painfully.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “You were just trying to protect me, and I couldn’t watch you die.”
“I was just doing my job.” His tone was harsh and his words were cruel. The realisation that I was nothing more than a job to him stung. “Dammit, Lori, I didn’t mean…”
“It’s fine,” I snapped, interrupting him before he could apologise. “I get it. You were just following orders.” Tears threatened to make an appearance, but I held them back. I was too fucking angry to cry. This whole situation sucked ass.
Jasper let out a weary sigh. This had been hard on him too; he had nearly died as well and I hadn’t even asked him if he was ok. I wanted to stay mad at him but part of me could understand his frustration. He hadn’t expected me to save him. I suppose this complicated things for him with the whole mission thing, or maybe he just didn’t like the fact that he’d been saved by a girl.
I could suck it up and be the better person. I was a big girl. “Jasper, are you ok?” He growled and I groaned in frustration. “Would you stop it with the alpha-macho-bullshit?”
He narrowed his eyes and glared at me. I stared straight back. I bet people normally cowered under that gaze but I was having none of it. I was too pissed off and annoyed with him to let him win. I knew we would stay like that, locked in a staring contest like we were kids in the playground, until one of us submitted. It wasn’t going to be me.
“I can do this all day, Mr. Grumpy Pants. So, you can either tell me you’re ok, or get comfy because we are going to be here for a while.” I folded my arms and sank back further into the bed.
A string of expletives fell from Jasper’s full lips. Jeez, some of them were rather colourful and it was kind of sexy watching someone so beautiful whisper such crassness.
“You,” he pointed at me, “are impossible.”
“Thank you.” I couldn’t stop the shit-eating grin that I knew was plastered on my face. He was so much fun to rile up and it was fast becoming my new favourite hobby.
