Page 52 of To Crave Darkly
A certain jealous witch made sure that if she couldn’t have my heart, then no one could. The spot where my heart should beat comfortingly in my chest was silent and achingly empty.
I was a dead hound walking.
Literally.
Chapter 21
LORI
Focus. Feel the pull of the threads of magic. Focus and breathe deeply.
Urgh. Stupid fucking mantra. I couldn’t concentrate and poor Fenris was getting annoyed with me. I could see it in his deepening frown. Fenris had the patience of a saint, so I must be really pissing him off if he was starting to show signs of it.
“Come on. Out with it,” Fenris commanded.
“Out with what?”
“You’re not concentrating. It’s quite clear your mind is elsewhere. We might as well work through whatever is bothering you so we can get back to coercing your magic out of its shell.”
His deep brown gaze smiled at me and I relaxed. Fenris was the first person to really make me feel at ease here and I already counted him as a friend. We had discovered a mutual love of old B-movies and popcorn, and I had spent the last few nights curled up next to him on a sofa cringing, laughing, and crying with him. It was nice to just have a friend who was just happy to be in your company. He seemed to want me to off load, and he did seem like he would be a good listener. Besides, it might even help me to clear my mind so I actuallycouldconcentrate and not waste Fenris’ time.
“I just don’t feel like I am any closer to figuring out what my purpose is or what I’m even capable of. I know you guys are trying to help, and I am grateful for it, but nothing seems to be working. I just seem to have questions and no bloody answers.”
Fenris scooted across the floor until he was right in front of me. “Have you not discovered anything in the witch’s Revelation books?”
I’d read every page of those damn books and nothing made sense. They seemed to be the writings of a lunatic. “No. Nothing useful. They just seem to be the ramblings of a mind fractured by insanity. I can’t make head nor tails of what she was trying to tell us.”
“Has Orion reached out to you recently?”
“Nope.” Orion had been as silent as the grave, and that hurt more than I thought it would. I thought we were in this together, and he’d left me to figure this out all by myself. I had never felt more alone than I did right now. When Jasper wasn’t training me, he was ignoring me, and Orion was giving me the cold shoulder. “I haven’t heard from Levi for days either. Not since he took my blood.”
Fenris smiled at me as he got to his feet. “Well, that I can do something about. Come on. Let’s go and see him.”
“You mean it?” I asked elatedly. I hadn’t been out of the house for days and cabin fever was definitely starting to settle in.
“Yes. Knowing Levi he’s probably got lost in his research and forgotten what day it is. He tends to forget that the world does actually keep turning.”
I jumped to my feet in excitement, barely restraining myself from doing a little happy dance. This was just what I needed. “Can we go now?”
“Sure,” Fenris lowered his head and whispered conspiratorially. “We can even stop for coffee.”
I squealed. I couldn’t help it. “Best day ever.” Fenris laughed as I grabbed his hand and dragged him with me out of the house. I wasn’t allowed out the house without an escort. That was de Santis’ doing, but Jasper had also commanded his team to keep me on the base. I guess that meant Fenris was slightly disobeying orders by taking me out and I couldn’t be more grateful, but I also didn’t want to get him into trouble.
“Are you sure this is ok? Will you get into trouble?” I asked as we headed towards the town.
He flashed me a lopsided grin. “Probably, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. Besides, we need an update from Levi and this is important.” His light-hearted expression turned serious. “Jasper should have taken you days ago.” He paused, clearly disappearing into his own thoughts. Perhaps he had noticed that Jasper was deliberately staying away from me, but that was a conversation that I didn’t want to get into right now. I was not ruining my day.
“Come on, let’s go and find Levi then you can take me for coffee. You’re going to have to pay though. I don’t have any money.”
“That’s ok,” he grinned a little cheekily. “We can put it on Jasper’s tab.”
Hell yes.
***
We found Levi in his lab with his nose buried in a book. There were books piled everywhere. There wasn’t a surface that didn’t have a book covering it, and I guessed he must have run out of space because there were even piles of them on the floor too. It was chaotic and there was no way there was any method to this madness.
“Levi,” Fenris called but the scientist was completely oblivious. Fenris sighed beside me before raising his hand in the direction of Levi. His fingers emanated a soft blue glow and the pages of Levi’s book flicked over with the phantom breeze. That was awesome. I still couldn’t get over the fact that magic was real, let alone the fact thatImight have it. I still had a long way to go before I finally accepted this new world I had been thrust into. I still felt like I was wondering around in a dream.
