Page 63 of To Crave Darkly
“I thought you were dead, and it was all my fault.” My words were quiet, barely above a whisper. “I was so angry, at Flint, the monsters, but mostly at myself. I took it out on Flint, and I made him suffer.” I sat back up, unable to bear Fenris’ touch any longer. “I am more of a monster than he ever was.”
“Lori, you’re not a monster. You were a warrior. You fought to save me and for that I will be forever grateful.”
“I still killed…”
“Stop beating yourself up over it. Look, I know it doesn’t seem like it at the moment, but you did the right thing. I know it will take you some time to accept it, but you’re in a world where it’s fight or die. And you chose to fight. That makes you a warrior and don’t you ever forget it.” His words were blunt, forceful, and they shook me to the core. He was right. I was in a different world now, and I was only starting to realise how much I was capable of. Yes, I could do bad things, but I also had the power and the courage to do the right thing. It was just going to take me some time to move past the image of Flint’s soulless eyes. I had a feeling they would haunt my dreams for some time to come. I just had to hope I was strong enough to overcome the guilt and face it head on.
“Can I sleep here tonight?” I asked Fenris. I didn’t want to be alone and there was nowhere else I would rather be than here.
He smiled warmly up at me. “Sure. Want to watch an old movie?”
“Is there still some popcorn left?”
Fenris leant over the other side of the bed and produced the large bowl, still over half full of popcorn. “Of course. Now come back here.” He lifted his arm and I tucked myself back into his embrace. He really did give the best cuddles. I could barely keep my eyes open. The exhaustion combined with the snuggly warm comfort of Fenris had me asleep in minutes.
Chapter 24
LORI
“What do you mean, I glowed?” I asked. It was team meeting time again, some sort of debrief on the events that happened in the alley.
“I mean that when I came to, your whole body was glowing,” Fenris explained.
“If you were dead, how did you manage to heal yourself?” Cassian asked suspiciously.
“This.” I pulled the neckline of my top to one side and exposed my mark. “Levi was right. Orion felt my death like it was his own.Hesaved me.”
“You saw him again?” Jasper asked in disbelief.
Oops. Had I not mentioned that? I’d been so wrapped up in making sure Fenris was ok that it had slipped my mind.
“Yes, I saw him again.”
“You need to stop this. We know nothing about him. How could you let yourself be taken in by him?” Jasper was pissed and his obnoxious tone had me seething.
“It’s not like she has a choice,” Fenris piped up. I gave him a grateful smile. At least someone was on my side.
Saskia leant across the table towards me, concern in her eyes. “Is there no way to break it?”
“Levi is still looking into it, but from what he has already told me, I don’t think there is. If one of us dies then so does the other.”
“Oh, honey, I am so sorry,” Saskia said sorrowfully.
I gave her what I hoped was a reassuring look. “It’s ok. Honestly, it’s not so bad. If it weren’t for Orion, I wouldn’t be here. I might not know exactly what his intentions are, but I do know that they involve keeping me alive.”
Jasper scoffed. “For now. How do we know he won’t just claim you and keep you locked in a box somewhere?”
I let out a deep breath through clenched teeth. He was really starting to try my patience. “Because he can’t manifest on the mortal plane. Not without serious consequences anyway.”
Alec eyed me warily. “He told you that?”
“Yes, why? What does that mean?”
Alec and Jasper exchanged a glance and I knew that meant something serious.
“It means,” Alec continued, “that your Orion is one of the Original Fallen. He’s not merely a high-class demon like we originally thought, but one of the angels that fell with Lucifer.”
“Shit…” Saskia exhaled.
