Page 68 of To Crave Darkly
As Cassian got to his feet, I rolled my shoulders, ready to take him on again. It was only as he turned towards me that I noticed his face. Obsidian scales covered his neck above the line of his top and his pupils had elongated into two reptilian slits.
Not only had he pushed me into attacking him, he’d also sat there and taken it without fighting back. His dragon had crept to the surface, and he’d held back. I didn’t know what to make of that, but it made my victory over him taste hollow.
“Why?” I asked, my voice hoarse, defeat creeping into my bones, threatening to douse the flames of anger that still burned bright.
Cassian strode towards me, his eyes aflame with his rage. I stood my ground, even though every instinct screamed at me to step backwards.
“You’re not human. You need to stop thinking like one because it will get you killed.”
“Aww, Cassie, I didn’t know you cared.”
He snarled, looking every bit the ferocious dragon I knew lurked beneath the surface.
He took another step closer so we were toe-to-toe. His predatory gaze met mine in an attempt to intimidate me, but I wasn’t backing down.
“I don’t.”
“Then why’d you hold back?” I challenged.
He tucked his chin and put his hands on his hips, clearly at a loss for an answer.
As I waited, my gaze dipped to the scales still visible above his neck line. Cassian towered over me by a good foot, the top of my head barely scraping his chin, so those gorgeous scales were right in my eye line. They were such a mesmerising shade of black, so deep it looked like the space between the stars. My fingers itched to touch them, but I didn’t want to lose my hand.
Curiosity got the better of me and I reached out my hand towards him. Cassian pulled back slightly but didn’t stop me. I flicked my gaze up towards him and found him studying me intently, his reptilian eyes watching my every move. I continued to move my hand towards him, my movements slow and steady. I didn’t want to scare him off, not when we were finally having a moment that wasn’t laced with aggression or sarcasm. Finally, my hand met his neck and I gasped. His scales were bitingly cold and my fingers were suddenly pulled into the depths of an icy lake. A shiver ran up my arm at the abrupt change in temperature.
Cassian stilled beneath my touch and a shaky breath escaped his lips. I continued my exploration. My fingers were still attached to my hand, so I took that as permission to continue. I had expected them to feel rough and coarse, but I was wrong. They were silky smooth, and I felt like I was trailing my hand against the surface of rose petal caught in the viscous clasp of an icy hand. He was magnificent and I longed to see the dragon as a whole. I bet he would be a majestic creature to behold.
I looked back up at Cassian. His eyes, that were so cold and unforgiving, were still fixed on me. My fingers trailed up towards his jaw line, and he swallowed.
Desire, hot and potent, burst through me. It was like a wildfire, unwanted, unbidden but all consuming.
“Lori.” His tone was gruff. This moment between us was torturing him and that made my core throb with need. He closed his eyes, clearly having some sort of mental argument with himself. His scent swam in the air around me, making my mind think of bitter cold mornings caught in the blazing sunshine. Crisp and fresh but lethal. I could feel his cold breath on my cheek as he exhaled, the way his jaw clenched beneath my fingers as he tried to put his emotions back in the box he hid them away in.
When his eyes opened again, I knew that whatever this moment was that had just happened between us, it was now over. He took a step back and heat began to fire pins and needles through my fingers as they grew accustomed to room temperature again.
My gaze dropped to the floor as shame washed over me. I had deliberately and unflinchingly fed my Reaper from his pain. A lingering sense of sorrow and guilt curled through me, but it wasn’t mine. It was Cassian’s.
“What happened to you?” I asked, my eyes searching his for any spark of emotion.
“That’s none of your business,” he seethed. “Just because you reaped my emotions does not mean you get to understand them.”
“Cassian, I…”
“We’re done here,” he snarled before storming towards the exit. I had pulled something to the surface for him, something he had buried deep in his mind. Something he had wanted to forget. He might be a total dick, but I felt his pain. I had consumed how he suffered and now I felt it as if it were my own memory and it was agonising. I wasn’t surprised he closed his emotions off. If I had to feel this every day, it would have driven me insane.
I called out to him before he disappeared. “Don’t let it eat you alive, Cassian.”
His back stiffened at my words. “It already has.”
Then he was gone, leaving me in a tumultuous sea of thoughts. I had always thought him a cold-hearted emotionless shell, but he was a man burdened by so much pain that he was dying a little bit more every day. I wanted to help him, but it wasn’t my place. Hell, he couldn’t stand the sight of me and the thought of trying to reach him on an intimate, emotional level had me cowering.
But more important than my fear of Cassian was the sudden concern I had over the insatiable need todosomething. I had this overwhelming sensation burning through me with a ferocity I didn’t understand, and it worried me that I had no idea how to get rid of the dark energy I had just feasted on. With no better option than to just be active, I set off running from one end of the training room to the other. The more I ran, the faster I moved. My speed increased dramatically and soon the room was moving past me in a blur of colours. Whoa. Was I moving as fast as a vampire?
I slammed to a halt, but because my body wasn’t quite used to moving that fast, I pitched forward and fell flat on my face. My arms flailed comically during my decent to the floor, and I was so glad that Cassian wasn’t around to see that. I don’t think I’d ever live it down. I rolled over onto my back as laughter erupted from my throat. It felt good to laugh, like it was a cathartic expulsion of all the crap I seemed to have accumulated over the last few days. But as the laughter died my worry crept back in. A soft caress fluttered across the skin above my left breast and a small smile hovered about my mouth. It was reassuring to know that Orion could sense my feelings and that he was there to offer me comfort when I needed it most. I wondered if he knew what would happen if I consumed too much energy without expelling it. I closed my eyes and tried to reach out to him with my mind, but I was met with silence. I frowned. Why would Orion tell me he was there but then not come to me when I called? I didn’t understand that demon. He seemed to get more complicated the more time we spent together.
I got back up off the floor. I needed to figure Orion out but first I would speak to Levi and see if he had any thoughts on my need to expend the dark energy I consumed. I was sure he’d love something new to work on. But first, I needed food. Cassian had certainly helped me to work up an appetite and at least one good thing was coming out of all this training. My body was definitely more toned, and I could eat a chocolate covered, cream centred doughnut without feeling guilty. Oh, yeah.
I was in the middle of imagining glorious carbs and sugar when I strode into the kitchen and stopped dead.
