Page 71 of To Crave Madly
My stomach dropped. What? I’d need to perform actual magic. Um. No. Absolutely not.
“When is the Yule Gathering?” Jasper asked. Dammit. When I needed him to be surly and forbidding, why did he have to be tempted to go along with this ridiculous plan?
“In seven days.” The pitying glance Fenris gave me spoke volumes. He didn’t believe I could do it. Hell, I didn’t believe I could do it. I was very much aware that accomplishing this wasimpossible. But when he looked at me like that, pity and disbelief in those not-hideous brown eyes, something inside me snapped.
I was going to do it, just to prove the fucker wrong.
Cassian looked like he couldn’t wait for my complete and utter failure. Well, I’d just have to prove him wrong, too. I knew I was probably setting myself up for a hideous downfall but, fuck it. I was determined to prove to myself that I wasn’t a giant fuck up when it came to magic. I’d managed to get on talking terms with my demon and navigated a soul bond with the Devil; surely I could handle a little bit of magic.
Chapter 24
LORI
“Again!” Elissa shouted as she hurled yet another blast of fire at me.
I was supposed to be trying to create a vacuum by sucking the oxygen out of the air but all I had achieved was a singed fringe and the complete loss of my eyebrows. Safe to say, I was not sucking the oxygen out of the air. I was sucking at magic.
Elissa had promised she could fix my eyebrows and my fringe but there was no point doing that until we’d finished for today. And we weren’t finishing until I could manipulate at least one element. We were on air. I’d already tried the other three main elements. I hadn’t managed to control any of them, and I was failing at this one, too. I could tell Elissa was starting to worry about me, but I appreciated that she didn’t let on about it. I was actually starting to like her. She seemed to be a no-nonsense hardass and she was making me work goddamn hard, but she wasn’t being difficult. She was actually being really encouraging and it felt like she really wanted me to succeed.
We’d been at this all day and I was exhausted. Suffice to say, Elissa’s fireball exploded in my face. Again.
Magic sucked.
I collapsed on the floor in a heap and groaned. My entire body ached.
“Come on, Lori. I know you can do it.” I tried to appreciate Elissa cheering me on, I really did. But all I could do in response was groan.
She laughed as she sat down on the mat next to me.
“Okay, we can rest for five minutes. But then we will go again. I am determined to get you ready for the neophyte incantations.”
I sat up and looked at her, a serious expression on my face. “Why?” She looked puzzled. “Why are you so determined to help me?”
She sighed and took a swig from her water bottle. When her green eyes landed on me again, they were filled with compassion. “Because you’re important to the mage community. I want you to be able to choose to be a part of it, even though I know you will probably make your home here.”
I raised my eyebrow. So she’d cottoned on to all the drama in my life already, had she?
She grinned and her smile made her look like she was on the verge of laughing. “I don’t envy you. You certainly seem to have your hands full.”
I laughed. “You’re not kidding.” Between the men and the prophecy and the witches, I often wondered how I even had time to breathe. Urgh. How was I supposed to get control of my magic when I couldn’t even get control of my life?
Elissa must have sensed my frustration because she gave my hand a reassuring pat. “We will get there. We just have to figure out what makes your magic spark.”
“But how?”
She pursed her lips as she mused over the answer. “Well… magic feels different to each mage. And it’s often an intimate feeling.”
“I know. Fenris told me all about his when I asked.”
“He… He told you?”
Ah, crap. Fenris had said that it was an intimate thing to share and he clearly hadn’t shared it with her. And now I’d gone and put my foot in it. Well done, Lori.
“Sorry, I just assumed… since you two were… you know.” I was going to stop talking now. She looked really upset and that was all my fault. I seemed to have a knack for that at the moment.
“It’s okay,” she said smiling, but it was a sad smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “He must really like you.”
I expected her to ask me what Fenris had divulged about his magic, but she didn’t. I’m not sure that in her shoes I’d have been quite as reticent about it.
