Page 98 of To Crave Deeply
Alec kept glancing at me too. That was off-putting. I knew he was worried about me, but I really needed him to stop staring at me like I might collapse or turn feral at any minute.
“Fancy telling me why Alec looks like he thinks you’ll keel over at any minute?” Rae asked as she fell into step beside me.
“It’s nothing,” I replied sharply.
She adjusted the small wooden box she was carrying, and I couldn’t help but be fascinated by it. Alec’s heart was in it. I could hear it beating away in the box and it was fucking eerie. It was just unnatural and wrong. I couldn’t seem to keep my eyes off it.
“Are you even listening to me?”
“What?” I said quickly as I looked up at Rae. Her bright green eyes sparkled with amusement. She was dressed in black leather like the rest of us and she looked fucking lethal. I wouldn’t want to cross her in that get up.
“Never mind.”
“No, what did you say? Sorry, I’m just distracted by that.” I pointed to the box she had casually slung under her arm.
“You get used to it,” she replied with a shrug. “But you seem distracted by more than this. Is everything okay?”
“Well, no. I haven’t heard from Lucifer in a while. Was he okay when you left him?”
She stopped walking and turned to face me. “He was fine when I left, but there is a lot going on down there. The wards aren’t draining him anymore, but with all the souls escaping the Pit, he’s probably just got a lot on his plate.”
My eyes caught the black marks that trailed up her arms. “I still can’t believe you bound yourself to Hell. Doesn’t that have some dire consequences?”
She shrugged again. “It might, but I didn’t have much choice. I’m hoping that when you get this soulbond fixed, I can undo the binding.”
“You don’t sound so sure about that,” I commented when her voice quietened.
“What’s done is done. And if it can’t be undone, then I shall just have to learn to live with it. Come on. Let’s put this heart back.”
Rae turned on her heel and marched towards the rest of the group. I felt Torsten reappear behind me, and I was soothed by his presence. There was something calming about him that always made me feel at ease. I trusted him with my life, and I knew that he would do anything I asked for without question, even if the bond of servitude weren’t in place. And I had something big to ask of him.
Something huge.
“Torsten?”
His beautiful, mismatched eyes met mine, and I saw a flash of fear cross their mercurial depths.
“I need you to do something for me. You’re not going to like it, but I need you to do it.”
“Lori, don’t. Whatever you’re going to ask of me, I can tell by the look in your eyes that the price will be too high.”
I took a step closer to him and rested my hands on his broad chest. “I don’t know what Mordecai has done to me, but I know that I don’t want to end up in his clutches. If he comes, and he tries to take me, I need you to—”
“No,” he said, cutting off my words. “I won’t do it.”
My heart clenched as the pain of what I was going to ask struck through me like a lance.
“Torsten, if Mordecai comes for me, I’m ordering you to—”
“Please,” he begged as tears filled his eyes. “Please don’t.”
I took a deep breath and pushed through the heartache. “I’m ordering you to kill me.”
“No,” he weeped as the magic bound him to the order. “No!”
“I’m sorry.”
“Undo it!” he roared. “Undo the command.”
