Page 102 of To Crave Deeply
“Elspeth,” I gasped. I reached out for her, but she ran from me. I jumped to my feet and chased her, calling her name desperately.
“Stay away from me, Mordecai!” she screamed.
How could she mean that?
“Stop!” I roared. Why did she hate me? This wasn’t right. She loved me. We loved each other—
She stopped at the edge of a cliff.
No.
“I’d rather die than have a monster like you love me.”
She flung her arms wide and threw herself off the cliff.
“Elspeth!” I followed her off the cliff, stretching my fingers out wide, thrusting my arms towards her but never reaching her. My heart splintered into a thousand pieces, and rage at the futility of trying to save her burned through me like Hellfire.
Everything went black.
Then the sun burst through my eyes, and I was right back where I started, weaving my fingers through her chestnut curls.
This was my punishment. This was what Lucifer deemed fitting for me. To be tortured over and over again with the idea of being in love but being hated for it. And to never be able to save her enough to let her love me back forever. I was a monster and he’d made my memory of her twist until she was the one who told me, over and over again.
My rage and hatred burned away all the goodness that she had found in me until all that was left was a deep-seated need for revenge. I would make him pay. I would make his heart shatter like he had mine and I would trap him in just such a memory until he was riddled with insanity and begging for death.
***
LORI
I awoke screaming. So much pain. So much anger. So much rage.
Sweat peppered my brow, my chest and the sheets were twisted around my legs. My heart was racing in my chest, and I could feel my blood running riot in my veins.
Mordecai.
I’d dreamt about him.
No, not about him. That Iwashim.
Shit. This was bad. This was so bad.
Torsten burst into my room, ready to destroy whatever was attacking me, but when his eyes found me, I promptly burst into tears.
“Lori!” he cried, before climbing onto the bed and wrapping me in his arms. He pulled me backwards so that I lay upon his bare chest. I had only meant to take a nap. I’d been so tired after making sure Alec was looked after that I just wanted to gather my strength for a moment, but judging by the moonlight that filtered through the window, it was late.
The mark on my chest fluttered and I felt Lucifer reach out for the first time in a while. He must have felt my distress. Shit, it was more than distress. It was absolute terror. Pure and unadulterated terror.
After a few minutes of Torsten murmuring calming sounds and stroking my hair, I felt more relaxed, and I could process what I’d seen.
“What happened?” Torsten asked, his voice a soft rumble beneath my ear.
“I had a bad dream,” I replied, my fingers trailing over the swirls of shadows over his hip.
“Tell me.”
“It was Mordecai.” Torsten stiffened beneath me but didn’t interrupt. “It felt like a memory. One of his memories. And it was… It was horrible.”
“I think it’s time we went to see His Majesty. We need to know what this vampire did to you.”
