Page 14 of To Crave Deeply
My hands instinctively tightened around Cassian. A growl rumbled softly from my throat as she continued to stare at him. Whoa. Where did that little possessive streak come from?
“Come on, princess. Time to go.” Cassian’s hands wrapped around my wrists and pulled them from him.
No. This couldn’t be it. I wasn’t ready.
“He’s right, sugar. I’ve got a way to send you back,” Cindy said with an annoying chipperness.
It was only then that I noticed the big, tough-looking armed guards standing behind her. Were they here for me or Cassian? I suppose we had both run away from our holding rooms.
Cassian got to his feet and dragged me up off the floor with him. I clung to his shirt desperately.
“Don’t let it end this way, Cassian.”
He smiled softly and I was hit with how beautiful he was when he smiled. He looked so much younger with the angry lines smoothed from the glorious planes of his face.
“I’m fine with my decision, Lori. Go back and live. Live like I couldn’t and learn to do as you’re damn told.”
Tears filled my eyes. I had to find some way to make him come back with me. He had unfinished business and I knew he’d regret it if he didn’t come back.
My hands cupped his face and sadness washed over him. “Don’t give up now, Cassian. Come back to me. Please.”
I didn’t care that I was begging. If it thought it would make a difference, I’d get on my fucking hands and knees.
His forehead rested against mine and I knew he wasn’t going to fight this. He’d made his decision and, as much as I hated it, as much as I wanted to change his mind, I wasn’t going to be able to make him want to come back. He had to want it himself.
“I’m sorry,” he muttered softly.
The tears in my eyes rolled silently down my cheeks. “I know.”
“I have done too many terrible things and I cannot live with them any longer. I’m choosing this, not to hurt you, but because I’m not worthy of a second chance.”
My heart clenched in agony as it broke for him. “I know you feel grief for everything you lost, but I know you are capable of feeling more.” I lifted my chin, breaking the contact and saw his brow lower in confusion. “I know you’re capable of love, Cassian. Grief is just love persevering.”
“I just… can’t, Lori.” He smiled sadly. “I’m just too broken.”
“And I would have loved every single beautiful broken piece, if you’d just let me.”
He’d made his mind up. This was it. The moment he really gave up on life, and as much as I wanted to scream that he was making a mistake, I knew I had to let him go. I pressed one last lingering kiss against his lips, trying to put as much emotion in it as I could. Trying to make him see, one last time, how much he meant, but as I pulled the kiss to a stop, I could sense his acceptance and determination to part this life.
I took one last look at him, memorising those sharp lines and ice-blue eyes so they could haunt my dreams to come, and gave him a final nod. “Goodbye, Cassian. I’d say it’s been a pleasure, but you’ve been a real asshat.”
He laughed. He honest to god actually laughed and it was the deepest, richest sound I’d ever heard. At least he’d be smiling as he moved on.
“Goodbye, Lori. I’ll be seeing you soon.”
“Hopefully not too soon,” I joked but my smile didn’t reach my eyes.
Cassian nodded to his escorts, and they set off down the corridor. I watched his back as he walked away, silently praying he’d turn around. Just once. Just one last time. But he didn’t. He kept his head held high as he walked to his death, and the moment he disappeared around the corner, I collapsed to the floor and wept. I hadn’t been able to save him, and my sorrow at his loss was more than I could ever have imagined. The screams of my grief echoed down the hallway, surrounding me with a sound that burned me to my core, branding the sorrow on my very soul.
Chapter 6
TORSTEN
Iveri had brought me to the most beautiful place I’d ever seen. Mountains stood proudly on either side of us and the valley was filled with lush green fields, tall trees, and colourful wildflowers. Nestled in the centre was a village straight out of a fairy tale, with a castle placed at the foot of the mountain. The whole idyllic setting was hidden by magic, like the Conclave.
I had heard of this place. There wasn’t much I didn’t know about the havens of supernatural creatures. That kind of information was useful to know if you were someone like me: someone bound to the services and whims of another being. I’d served many Masters, some of whom were tyrants and ruled their people with fear. I knew about places like this haven because I’d hunted targets, and it was my job to know about places like this. Places where people and souls could hide, thinking they were safe from monsters like me.
They never were. I always found what I was looking for.
