Page 28 of To Crave Deeply
A shiver snuck up my spine at that thought. It was a thought that was going to haunt me for a long time. I’d died. I’d actually died, seen the afterlife and somehow managed to come home. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to sleep again.
Jasper’s thumb traced lazy circles on the back of my hand. He was waiting for me. They all were. The team surrounded me and waited patiently for me to tell them what had happened. I could feel their eyes on me. Saskia looked concerned; Alec’s honey-coloured gaze was filled with something I couldn’t quite decipher, like he was grappling internally with himself; and Fenris just looked sad. There was a touch of guilt and shame to his gaze, and I couldn’t look at him. Why would he feel guilty that I was back?
My gaze drifted to the empty spot by the fireplace, the spot where Cassian used to stand and stare at me, just to make me feel uncomfortable. I missed him. I really missed him.
The doors to the common room flung open and a high-pitched scream assaulted my ears, interrupting my misery. I’d barely turned to look in that direction before I was wrapped in a fierce hug and squeezed within an inch of my life.
Green eyes and flaming red hair filled my vision and my best friend Rae, was suddenly checking me over for signs of injury.
“I’m fine,” I said laughingly, batting her hands away. God, I think she was seconds away from stripping me bare and inspecting every inch of me.
“Is it really you? Are you really back?”
“Yes, it’s me. Now please let go of me.”
“Never,” she said, wrapping me in another death-defying hug. “I missed you so much, babe.”
“I know. I missed you, too.” I settled into her embrace and just let her hug me. It was useless to fight or argue with her. She always got what she wanted.
As she pulled back, her hands trailed down my arms and I winced as a sharp sting flared over my forearm.
“What’s that?” she asked, her expression turning serious.
“It’s…” Shit. How was I going to explain this?
I didn’t get a chance to explain anything because Rae had already pulled back my sleeve and exposed the marks of the Witch Queen.
There was a chorus of gasps as everyone took a glance at the runes etched into my skin. They still looked fresh, the edges inflamed and the cuts deep. Instinctively, I knew that these weren’t going to heal until I’d completed my side of the deal.
“You made a deal with the Witch Queen?” Rae shrieked. Shit, is it that bad? “Are you insane?”
“Technically, I didn’t make the deal. Iveri did. I just changed the terms a little.”
Rae stared at me in horror, and I winced. Okay, this was worse than I thought.
“Look, at least she wasn’t stupid enough to make the deal in the first place,” Saskia piped up. God, I loved that girl. I could always count on her to come to my defence, even if I had done something stupid.
“Small blessing,” Rae muttered. “That’s blood magic. You aren’t going to get out of that even if you die.”
My stomach dropped at the word ‘die’ and I flinched. I didn’t want to repeat my first-hand experience of the afterlife anytime soon, and talking about death was probably going to give me the creeps for a while.
Jasper squeezed my hand, and I turned my gaze to him. There was such a warmth flickering in his eyes that I instantly relaxed.
“Why don’t you start at the beginning and tell us what happened?”
I nodded and took a deep breath. Rae settled on the edge of the sofa next to me and took my other hand in hers. Between them, Jasper and Rae gave me the strength I needed to tell my tale. They never once let go of me, and I was grateful that the team didn’t pepper me with questions. I stumbled a few times, especially when talking about Cassian. But no one interrupted. Not once.
“…and then I changed the deal. I didn’t want to break the soulbond, so I asked for something else.” My eyes found Alec’s and his gaze darkened as he waited for me to utter the words that I think he already knew I was going to say.
“What did you ask for?” he asked, his voice soft and full of fear.
I swallowed. My mouth was dry and my heart was racing. “Your heart, Alec. I asked for your heart.”
Silence descended on the room at my revelation. I didn’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t this. You could hear a pin drop, it was that fucking quiet.
Alec stared at me, dread and fear swimming in his eyes. Did he not want his heart back? Fuck, what have I done?
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