Page 59 of To Crave Deeply
Almost.
I stepped out of bed and walked towards him. “What else do I feel, Michael?”
His nostrils flared as I walked closer, and a soft moan escaped his mouth on an exhale. He stood from the chair so quickly that I stepped backwards instinctively. There was an anger burning in his eyes as he looked at me. Almost like he hated what I was doing to him. And I could see what I was doing to him. His chest was heaving, his mouth set into a tight line, his hands buried in his trouser pockets as if to stop himself from reaching out to me. He was a pillar of restraint, and he was magnificent.
He leant closer, closing the gap between us. I could feel the heat from him as he stood there, so close but not quite closing the distance completely. I could tell he was tempted. I could see it in the way his jaw clenched, how his body was rigid as he fought to stay away from me.
“Desire. I can feel your desire, Rae. And it burns me like the very fire of Hell.” His voice was a growl and I shuddered. I turned my face up to his, begging for just one touch of those luscious lips.
I took a deep breath. On some level, I could feel my conscience stirring, attempting to make a valiant effort to stop me from going down this path that would lead him to sin. He was an angel, for fucks sake. And I should know better. But as we stood there, daring each other to make the next move, I just couldn’t bring myself to walk away.
Until I saw it.
A tiny flicker of doubt in his eyes and I knew I couldn’t do it to him.
“Michael,” I whispered breathlessly, almost desperately, because I knew I wanted him, and I would never be able to have him.
He stepped back, breathing hard, and I knew the moment that reality came crashing down. His eyes flashed with sudden panic, and I could see guilt and regret crowd his features.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I… I can’t.”
I felt his need to escape, and shame washed over me. “I know. I’m sorry, too.”
My eyes fell to the floor. I couldn’t bear to look at him. Not when the sight of remorse was so vivid in those green depths. I was overcome with the sinking sensation that there was something about this angel I’d never be able to get out of my system and there was nothing I could do about it. There was nothing else I could say that would encompass this rushing tidal wave of shame and guilt that I felt crawling under my skin.
Michael didn’t say goodbye. Instead, he just looked at me with sorrow before leaving without another word.
I sank back onto the bed, hating myself because I’d nearly set him on a path to sin, and knowing that I’d be tempted to do it again.
Chapter 20
LORI
I stared at the mouth of the Pit and shuddered. It was like I could feel the pain and suffering from the tortured souls crawling across my skin. Even Iveri shivered with the eeriness of the place. It was worse than anything we’d seen in Hell. The wastelands of the City of Waste had been vast and empty; the Plain of Fire had been sweltering and relentless. But this…
It was dead and cold and hollow. A maw of a void that led to nothing but blackness. I could hear the screams of the suffering deep in my mind, and I wanted nothing more than to turn and run in the opposite direction as fast as my legs would take me. Everything in me screamed to run away. To run and never look back. But I couldn’t. My fear had me frozen and looking into the void with both a morbid curiosity and a sinking feeling of utter helplessness.
Do we really have to go down there?Iveri groaned as we stared over the edge. I couldn’t even tell how deep it was. There was no bottom. Just an infinite blackness.
“Hey, you’re the one who made the deal in the first place,”I reminded her. She rolled her eyes and scoffed, but I could tell she was just as terrified as me about going down there. That made me feel a little better. That I wasn’t the only one not wanting to jump into the void.
Torsten was also eyeing the entrance to the Pit warily. He’d frequently been looking at Iveri and I on the journey here, and I hated that I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. His face was his usual stone-cold mask and it unnerved me that there was no expression to decipher on his face.
I stood on the precipice, staring down and thought, fuck it. We had to get down there; might as well fucking jump.
“Are you ready?”I asked Iveri. I was starting to get used to having her as part of me, so much that it only seemed natural to check in with her before just jumping off the edge.
You betcha, bitch. Let’s do this.
I smiled at her feigned enthusiasm, if only it was catching. My stomach felt like lead and my heart was pounding like a fucking drum. I was anything but ready.
I held my hand out to Torsten and smiled as best I could.
“Come on; let’s jump.”
He placed his hand in mine, wrapping those ink-dipped fingers tightly around my palm, and my heart fluttered at the warmth coming from him.
“Let’s jump,” he replied, and together, hand in hand, the three of us jumped into the Pit of Hell on a quest to find the original witch.
