Page 95 of To Crave Deeply
With a deep sigh, I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling above me. I tried to think back to the moment I’d returned to this life, but I couldn’t remember anything. I’d been so adamant about moving on and leaving all this behind. So, why had I come back? What made me change my mind?
“I can hear you thinking, Cassian,” Lori muttered groggily as she stretched out the sleep from her bones. Her back arched and I had to resist the temptation to take her nipple between my teeth and bite down.
Jeez, what was wrong with me? All I wanted to do was cause her pain. It’s what I’d done last night. Like a monster, I’d bitten her shoulder to find my own release. Shit. She shouldn’t be with me. What if I really hurt her?
She rolled over and propped her head up with one arm before fixing her sleepy gaze on me. “Talk to me.”
I snorted. I wasn’t much of a talker at the best of times, but as I looked into those dark eyes and saw that spark of hope blazing in the depths, I considered that maybe, if I tried, I might actually get something out of talking to her.
“What do you see in me?”
Her eyebrows shot to her hairline. Yeah, that wasn’t exactly small talk. Shit. Maybe I should have gone for something simpler.
“I see someone who is fierce and brave. Someone who has suffered but still fights to protect those he cares about. I also see a man who is burdened by the sins of his past, someone who has done terrible things, but I know that doesn’t make you any less deserving of love.” She took a breath and cupped my cheek with her hand, and I was so close to breaking down in front of her. “Cassian, you are a wonderful person, and I am so glad you came back to me. That you chose life over death shows me that you still have something to live for. And I want to be part of that.”
I turned away from her, unable to stand the pity and hope I saw in her eyes. “But what if I’m too broken? What if I can’t be fixed?”
“That doesn’t mean you deserve love any less. Being broken doesn’t make you ugly, or unlovable. I told you before, I would love every single broken piece of you, Cassian. I can take the pain. I can stand by you in your darkest moments, so that when you finally emerge into the light and see yourself as I do, I will be right there with you.”
I turned to look at her again and I couldn’t hold back the stem of emotion that grasped my heart. Tears stung my eyes, and I didn’t waste a second before I claimed her mouth with mine and told her with my kiss all the things I couldn’t put into words. I knew I’d have a long road to forgiveness ahead of me, but with Lori beside me, it seemed a lot less daunting. And for the first time, in a very long time, I felt a glimmer of hope sparking to life deep inside me. All because of her.
“Thank you,” I whispered against her lips.
An adorable little frown appeared on her brow. “What for?”
“For trying to save me.” I leant down and nipped at her bottom lip. “That means more to me than you will ever know.”
A smile curved across her mouth and her arms wrapped around my neck. “Why don’t you show me how much?”
I let out a chuckle. “You’re insatiable.”
A moan escaped her lips as I settled my weight fully against her and kissed her deeply. A sudden, sharp sting sliced across my bottom lip as her teeth cut into the soft flesh.
“Bad girl.” My voice comes out as a rumble, and I swear she shivered beneath me. Fuck. This woman has got me so tightly wound I couldn’t see straight.
“What are you going to do about it?” she sassed.
I leant down closer to her and pinned her with my most ferocious stare. “Anything I fucking want to.”
She squealed in delight as I ravaged her mouth and I proceeded to show her exactly what happened when she deserved punishment. This girl had no idea who she was messing with, but I was going to show her.
***
LORI
I couldn’t believe I woke up in Cassian’s bed. Jesus fucking Christ, that man was something else. My ass was still sore from the spanking and I was sure there were still bite marks on my breasts. I hurt in all the right places and then some. I was trying to focus on what Alec is saying but every time I moved, I felt a spot where Cassian marked me, and my mind relived it.
“Lori!” Alec snapped. “Are you even listening to me?”
Shit.
“Yes,” I replied unconvincingly. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Cassian grinning, and it took all my effort not to smack him in the jaw.
“What’s the plan then?”
Double shit.
“Um… we portal to Strigavallis and Rae is going to meet us there with your heart. You’ve already reached out to the Witch Queen, so she is expecting us, but you also want to take the opportunity to question Selene about Mordecai’s motives. Fenris and Saskia are going to patrol through Strigavallis to find out about any gossip and rumours going round while the rest of us put your heart back.”
