Page 65 of Left Hand of the Divine
A single tear rolled down my cheek as I took in his sadness. I could feel it, all that grief and suffering, like it was my very own.
I trailed my fingers along the length of his jaw and into the soft strands of his black hair. I smiled at the chopped ends. There was something so charming about the way it looked like he’d cut them himself that it warmed my heart and sparked heat in my core.
Erebus brushed my tear away from his cheek. “You are different from Nyx, but I can’t deny that some part of my soul recognises you.”
His gaze was intense as he continued to stare at me, and it made my heart lurch in my chest. I swept my thumb across his full bottom lip, and he hitched a breath. I wanted to kiss him. Whatever part of me it was that yearned for him, it wanted to kiss him too.
He didn’t move. Didn’t back away. He just knelt there in the dirt and let me touch him. All the while he watched me, those brilliantly bright eyes filled with yearning and hope and something else I couldn’t place. I didn’t know when I’d get him on my own again like this after seeing the mark in the sky. Days? Weeks? Would the others keep interfering? Would we ever be alone again? Excuses. That’s what they were. Because I wanted him. Wantedto kiss him. Whether it was right or wrong. Or idiotic or Fate or whatever other reason it might be. I wanted to kiss Erebus.
I leant forward slowly and brushed his lips with mine in a butterfly kiss. His mouth parted beneath mine, a breath of sheer relief ghosting past his lips. My body hummed as I did it again, revelling in the madness because that’s what this was. Madness. This was Erebus. The man who looked at me and saw his lost wife. But maybe, just maybe, he saw something more. Maybe he sawme.
I let my mouth linger, moulding to his and savouring the taste of him. He tasted sweet and fierce and achingly familiar. Memories bubbled in my mind, but I couldn’t make sense of them. They disappeared and slipped through my fingers before I could understand them. I flicked my tongue across the seam of his mouth and gasped when his tongue met mine.
He let out a ragged moan and surged forwards, wrapping his arm about my waist and dragging me onto his lap. He crushed me to him as he took over, deepening the kiss, and my soul came alive under his touch. It was savage, dark, and dangerous. Tingles spread across my face, down my neck, and all the way to my nipples, where they hardened into peaks behind my bra. I slid my hands into his hair, twisting the strands to pull him closer. I wanted to crawl under his skin, align my soul with his. The connection between us hummed and throbbed, powerful and ancient, filling me with need for him. Desire tore through me, hot and potent, and I moaned deep into his mouth.
Erebus tore his mouth from mine, slamming the door on the intense connection between us. Slowly, he unfurled his hands from me as if he were worried I might explode if he made a sudden movement.
“Roux… I’m sorry. I can’t…”
Irritation flared in my chest, but it was closely followed by a stab of guilt. “Because of Nyx?”
“It’s more complicated than that. You know that. Until we know how much of you is you or Nyx, how can we be sure that I’m kissing you for the right reasons?”
Gods, why did he have to make sense? And be kind and sweet. It just made me like him more. Made me want to kiss him again, dammit. He was right, though. Could I be sure I wasn’t influenced by anything other than my own desire?
“I’m sorry I kissed you.”
“No,” he said, tucking my hair behind my ears. “I’m not.”
The heat in his eyes definitely agreed with him.
“You need to stop looking at me like you want to eat me,” I breathed, barely hanging onto my restraint.
“Why?” he asked, a sly grin curling his mouth.
My gaze dropped to his lips, swollen from my kiss. “Because there’s very little holding me back from kissing you again.”
Erebus chuckled and stood, pulling me up with him. “Let us go home, and we can figure this all out together. Would you like to travel by shadow?”
“You mean…?” I could barely hold back the excited squeal. There was something beautifully enticing about his shadows, and I’d longed to feel their touch again since we were in the Vault.
Shadows poured out from him, sinking to the floor like heavy fog and swirling around my feet. Erebus grabbed my forearms and wrapped them around his waist. Gods, he smelt good. Like wild, dark forests and log fire cabins. I pressed my nose to his chest and took a deep breath. There was something instantly calming about his scent and his presence.
Erebus wrapped his arms around me, sliding his hands up the length of my spine, settling one between my shoulder blades and the other curled possessively around the back of my neck. “Close your eyes and hold on tight. You don’t want to get lost in the shadow world.”
I peered up at him through my lashes as the world around us faded. He pressed a kiss to the top of my head and then pulled me closer. Tucking my head under his chin, I closed my eyes and let him carry me away in his darkness.
The mansion materialised through broken shafts of moonlight as the wisps of Erebus’ shadows peeled away and faded into the night.
It took a minute for my limbs to feel solid again, and I enjoyed the sensation of Erebus playing with the ends of my hair while my body reformed.
“You can let go now,” he hummed softly into the top of my hair.
“Just another minute. Please.” I couldn’t quite bring myself to let go of him yet. My soul seemed to find comfort in him, and now that I had him in my arms, I didn’t want to let him go. It should worry me that the familiarity I felt with Erebus was becoming stronger; perhaps that was the part of me that was Nyx, but this didn’t feel wrong. Hugging him didn’t feel wrong, especially since he held onto me just as tightly as I held him. As if he needed the touch and comfort from me just as much as I needed it from him.
“We should find the others,” Erebus whispered.
He was right, but standing here in his arms, I could hide myself away from the world just a little longer.
