Page 49 of Left Hand of the Divine
“I’m just curious about you,” I said as I took in the features of Sabine. She looked exactly like Roux. It was jarring to see a picture of her—hell, a whole gallery full of pictures of her—and know that it wasn’t actually her.
Erebus turned to look at me then, his bright eyes roving my face with an intensity I could feel brushing against my skin. “What do you want to know?”
What a loaded question. “What your endgame is.”
“My end game?” He quirked a thick, dark brow, and it made him look devious.
There was something about him that made me distrust him. We didn’t know anything about him, and he hadn’t exactly been forthcoming. “Yes, what are you really hoping to achieve now you are free?”
Which was also something else a little disconcerting. Zeus had brushed past the fact that he was free, which meant he was either confident in his own ability to defeat Erebus, or Erebus didn’t pose much of a threat on his own. With Nyx though…
I’d heard the legends and the tales about the pair of them together, and it made me fear what would happen if Nyx did resurface.
Erebus tucked his hands into his pockets, his casual stance belying the power I could feel lurking under the surface of his skin. “I only want to be reunited with my love. Anything beyond that will be a gift.”
I didn’t believe that for a second. “And what happens if Nyx isn’t part of Roux? What then?”
The muscle under his left eye twitched, and his mouth pulled back in a snarl. “That is not an option. I will not stop searching for her, even if the world ends and there is nothing left but darkness.”
I wasn’t sure if that was dedication or obsession, but there was something dangerous lurking around him. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but when I did, I was calling him out on it. “Love makes us do strange things.”
“That it does,” he replied and cast his eyes back up to the portrait of Sabine with a look of longing. There was something beautiful and dark about the desperation in his gaze, and it stirred something within me. Something that felt a lot like pity.
“I met her,” I said, looking up at the woman with the wisp of white hair escaping her gable hood.
“You did?” Erebus asked, a hint of hope in his tone. “What was she like?”
“Lost,” I answered honestly. Erebus’ brow pinched in disappointment. “But she was also full of spirit. She didn’t let the loss define her.”
Just like Roux. She didn’t let the loss she didn’t understand stop her from living.
“That’s good,” Erebus muttered. “It was never meant to be this way.”
“What do you mean?”
“We knew we were in trouble, and we knew that because we were so entwined with each other, the only punishment the Council of Gods would bestow on us would be to separate us. It was the only thing that would cause us pain, so we made a plan. A way that we could reconnect when the timewas right.”
“When would that have been?” I walked over to the sitting bench beneath the long window, surprised when Erebus came to sit with me.
He smiled wistfully. “I’m not sure. We left it to Fate.”
“Seriously?” I gasped. “You left something ofthatmagnitude up to the triplets? Have you met them?”
“Several times,” he said with a hint of a smile. “But the Fates were different back then. People believed in them differently. To leave your hand to the Fates was to ask for a blessing. Now it seems that they prefer to curse you or exact a high price.”
That sounded more like the Fates I knew. I’d last seen them to seek advice on how to win back Roux and the twins. They’d sent me here, and in exchange, I’d granted them a gift of their choosing. The bind mark itched on my skin as I thought about them, reminding me of the oath that I took. I just hoped that they didn’t ask for too high a price when the time came.
“So, if you left it up to the Fates, perhaps this moment is where you are meant to be?”
Erebus locked eyes with me, those bright red orbs flickering with something that looked a lot like hope. “Do you think so?”
I laughed nervously. Why was I nervous? Was it because he was looking to me for hope? No one had done that since that Christmas Eve when the twins had looked at me like I was their whole world. “Anything is possible with the Fates.”
“That’s true.” He swallowed, and then his brows dropped in confusion as a myriad of emotions flitted through his eyes. They were a stunning shade of red, brighter than the blood-red shadeof mine, and they were framed by thick dark lashes. “I think… Ihopethat I find her. Without her, I don’t know how to live or how to be. I am nothing without her.”
“I don’t believe that. You are your own person, Erebus.”
A single tear rolled over the curve of his cheek. “I don’t know who I am without her, Magnus. I need to find her.”
