Page 4 of The Mountain Man's Secret Santa
Granger
Istayed in theoutbuilding longer than I planned, but Icelyn’s words left me shaken to my core. How could I have been so wrong about her? Both times we’ve made love, I hoped we could build a life together. But there's always something standing in our way.
The first time, it was my misguided sense of priorities, as I didn't want to mix business with pleasure. The second time, I still can't quite figure out what just happened. One minute I had her in my arms again, begging for me to take her, and the next minuteshe was walking out of my life like I was nothing more than used gum on the bottom of her shoe.
I stare out into the night sky, waiting for a sign that I need to let Icelyn go and move on with my life. I doubt our unprotected encounter will lead to a pregnancy, but until then, I’ll wait to know for sure before I start looking for someone else to build a life and a family with.
Seemingly, as if on cue, my four-month-old nephew cries for his midnight bottle. My sister was on bedrest for a few months before little JJ was born. With her husband deployed for a year, I had Shelly move in with me so I could take care of her and the baby.
Helping raise JJ makes me wish for a family of my own. His cry for food signals I need to move on from Icelyn and start looking for a wife. Rumor has it that a mail-order bride franchise is moving into town; maybe I’ll give it a shot—after my heart heals, of course.
It doesn’t take long to warm up JJ’s bottle, even as he sways in my arms. He’s such a good baby. I gently caress his cheek as he happily sucks down his formula with loud slurping noises.
“I thought I heard the two of you in here.” Shelly walks into the bedroom I converted into a nursery when she first moved in with me, tying her fluffy pink robe at her waist. “I thought you’d be out all night." I love my baby sister, but I wish I had never told her about Icelyn. Shelly is so romantic; she’s already been planning my wedding.
“That’s never going to happen with Icelyn.” I lift JJ’s head to my lips and gently brush a kiss over his soft hair. “She’s not interested in anything long term.”
“Oh, Granger. I’m so sorry.” Shelly wraps her arms around my shoulders, hugging me tightly. When I feel a tear slip through my t-shirt, I curse Icelyn for unintentionally making my postpartum sister cry.
“It’s really okay, Shelly. Icelyn and I want different things. Besides, I’m thinking about signing up for that mail-order bride program.”
“I think that’s a perfect plan.” Shelly releases my shoulders and moves to the recliner across from the rocking chair where JJ and I are sitting. “You can do a million times better than someone like Icelyn, who doesn’t care about you.”
I smile with a nod, not wanting to agree with her but also wishing to avoid hurting her feelings. Icelyn and I might want different things from life, but that doesn’t make the pain of losing her any less.
After I’ve tucked both mother and son into their beds, I go back outside and sit on the back porch, gazing over the mountains. I pick up a block of wood and my carving knife and start whittling. It isn’t until the sun begins to rise on the horizon that I realize I’ve spent the night carving a figurine of a pregnant woman holding a toddler in her arms.
A sadness washes over me when I imagine the woman I’ve carved is Icelyn, and the child represents my hopeful thinking about her having my babies.
five
Icelyn
Two More Months Later
Pregnant.
The word on the pregnancy test stares back at me. How did this happen? I mean, I know how it happened, maybe the question is why. Granger doesn’t want to be a father. Sure, he said he wouldtake care of me and any baby we had, but that doesn’t mean he wants a family.
I put my hand on my still flat stomach. “Hey, little guy, I’m going to love you so much you won’t have to worry about not having a father in your life.”
“I knew it, you’re pregnant.” I startle at the sound of my sister Autumn’s voice, dropping the pregnancy test to the floor.
My other sister, Junie, reaches down and picks it up, holding it out for Autumn to see, “Yup, right there. She’s pregnant.”
What was I thinking, taking a pregnancy test in the bakery bathroom and bringing it to the breakroom while I waited the three minutes for the results?
In my defense, the bathroom walls seemed like they were closing in on me, and three minutes might have felt like three hours. Waiting in that tiny bathroom was not an option.
Junie sidesteps me as I reach for the small white stick, confirming my secret wish—a baby with Granger. Why I still care about that man is beyond me. He seems to only pop into my life when he wants sex, then pops back out—only this time feels different. It feels like he won’t pop in again.
“When are you going to tell Granger?” Autumn places her arm around my shoulders.
I love my sisters, truly, I do, but since both of them recently found love, they’ve declared that everyone should be as happy and in love as they are, which I’m not.
My fingers twitch against my stomach, reminding me of the little life growing inside of me, and my protective instincts kick in. “I never said Granger was the father.” But like all good sisters, Junie and Autum see right through my charade.
“Who else would it be? Sure, the two of you are like oil and water, but put you in the same room and watch out. The sexual tension is so hot it could rival the hottest day in July.” Junie’s words take me back to the hot July night when all this started with Granger. Scratch that, all this started the first day he walked into our bakery with his rugged good looks and that damn notebook. “He seems very taken with you. Especially since he can never take his eyes off you when you’re in the same room.”
