Page 123 of Lily In The Valley
“Yeah, you’re probably right,” she said. A pause stretched between us, more comfortable now.
“How’s your daddy doing?”
“Good. At peace. He said to tell you hi.”
“I really am sorry, Khalil.” she said, making room for me on the couch by the window. I took the space. “After I got…right…I didn’t want to live with myself for what I’d done. I was ready to end it all,” she whispered. “Would have, had it not been for Kahlia. Found out she was cooking and took it as a sign that we all had second chances. You don’t know this, but I managed to find out where you went to high school. The day you graduated, I stayed in the parking lot all day, watching droves of people leave. Then, I saw you and your dad. Your auntie, some skinny chocolate boy, and some woman that must’ve been his mama. You looked so happy.”
“You should’ve gotten out of the car. Walked over, said something.”
“It was a lot of things I could’ve done, but didn’t. I wasn’t going to take that day away from you. My showing up would’ve been me making it all about me.”
She grabbed my hands.
“It was wrong of me to leave, but you turned out good. So good. I’ve been spending the last ten years grateful, I got a second chance, but you never left my heart. Not once.”
My throat choked up. My eyes burned. I pressed my hands to my eyes. My mother didn’t hesitate. She pulled me in her arms and rocked the pain away. Decades of what-ifs, evaporating, as if they’d never existed. She laid my head in the crook of her neck and shushed me. I looked over her shoulder and saw Kahlia looking on intently, paused from her drawing. When she pulled my face back, she kissed my curls, my forehead, my cheeks.
“I meant what I said,” she added, tone low. “I know I don’t have a stake in this… but I like Kelly. For you.” I took in her motherly smile. “She got the kind of love that don’t ask you to be perfect,” she said. “That kind of love’s hard to find. Harder to keep when you think you don’t deserve it.”
I didn’t say anything. Just nodded once, slow and sure.
“Me, too,” I finally said.
She took my hands in hers, gave it a light squeeze.
“I wanna do better,” she said. “Not just with Kahlia. With you. I don’t expect miracles. But I want a chance.”
I looked over at Kahlia, who was still watching from the bed.
“You don’t need miracles,” I said. “You just gotta keep showing up.”
She nodded, her lips fighting to hold her tears at bay. “I’ll do that.”
I steppedthrough the door and paused at the sound of overlapping voices — baby coos, teasing jabs, that distinct rhythm of women who’d known each other long enough to skip past politeness.
“She’s got Zay’s eyes,” Kelly was saying.
“And my cheeks,” Vanessa added, her voice proud and tired.
I turned the corner and there she was, perched on the couch in a giant hoodie, phone propped up, hair piled on top of her head like she hadn’t even tried, and still looked like Sunday morning peace.
“Y’all don’t think she looks like me?” Vanessa asked.
“She looks like she stole Zay’s entire DNA strand,” Lynn replied. “You contributed nothing but hair and vocal chords.”
Everyone cracked up.
Kelly leaned into the screen. “Zaria girl, blink once if your daddy been making you listen to Luther.”
“Not too much on my man!” Vanessa laughed.
That was when Karter noticed me. He jumped up from his spot on the rug and trotted toward me, hopping with his front paws in the air, begging for me to pick him up.
She finally noticed me standing there and sat up straighter. “Y’all, I gotta go. Company just walked in.”
“Oooh?” Lynn said, dragging the vowel out.
“Bye,” Kelly said pointedly, ending the call with a dramatic sigh.
