Page 19 of Lily In The Valley
I sank into the couch. “I am. I don’t know who’s letting these new residents in. I had to correct a newbie today before he under treated one of my sickle cell patients.”
“Oh, Lord,” she said. “You didn’t hurt his feelings too bad, did you?”
“I kept it cute. Professional. He’ll survive.” I sighed. “You know I don’t play about my babies. No matter how old they are.”
“You are your daddy’s twin.”
I stiffened. “Right…”
She didn’t notice the tightness of my voice. “He used to come home heated about how certain doctors wouldn’t take Black kids’ pain seriously. Preached nonstop that if they had to prove their pain, something was already broken.”
“I guess that means the two of you are talking again?”
There was a pause. Just enough to make my stomach tighten.
“Well,” she started. “He did come by so I could help him pick up some groceries.”
“Really, Mama? Groceries? Since when does Daddy need help buying groceries?”
“Don’t do that, Kelly.”
“Do what? Ask obvious questions?”
She sighed. “We’re trying to be friends. For you.”
I leaned my head back on the back of the couch. “Y’all don’t do friends. You do drama and late-night phone calls.”
“People change.”
“Have you changed? Or are you slipping back into old habits because they’re comfortable?” I scoffed, rolling my eyes even though she couldn’t see me. If she had, she’d snatch me up so quick, I’d think I was a child, not a full-grown woman. But now, in this moment, she’d gone quiet. I knew that quiet. It’d become more and more prominent each year I became more aware ofwhat went on between my parents. As I grew more comfortable calling them out on their bullshit, my mother perfected the role of playing peacekeeper when I wouldn’t keep my mouth shut. It was her way of saying,you’re not wrong, but I don’t want to admit it.
“Mama,” I started gently. “You deserve more than some halfway peace treaty with the same man who made you cry on and off for all my life.”
“And you deserve more than running yourself into the ground chasing perfection,” she snapped back.
Touche.
“I’m getting tired, Kelly. I just want to feel like I used to. Your father does, too.”
There was no use arguing. I was surprised they’d been separated this long. Long enough for my mother to find her own place, even though I knew my father secretly footed the bill. Long enough for me to believe things would be different this time around. My parents were the reason I carefully crafted my life for no surprises. Nothing happened that didn’t fall in line with my vision.
“I guess…Just don’t let feeling lonely convince you that your past is your home.”
“Stay in a child’s place, Kelly.” She paused. I knew she was glaring at me through the phone. Then she said, “It’s decision day. Have you gotten your email?”
“Yes. Earlier today. I haven’t opened it yet.” Three beeps interrupted our call. I knew it was her FaceTiming me. I answered, and my mirror image, only older, stared back at me. Same almond eyes. Button nose. Smooth caramel skin. As much as she said otherwise. I was nothing like my father. I was everything like her.
“Share your screen, and let’s open it together.” Her eyes gleamed through the screen, her smile bright and wide. I wantedher excitement to leech onto me, but it wouldn’t. Following her directions, I shared my screen, opened my email, and let the subject line that kept my heart racing throughout the day stare back at the both of us. Right before I tapped the email, my mom’s screen cut out.
“Hold on, Kelly. It’s your Uncle Doug.”
While I waited for my mother to call back, I set my phone down and embraced the silence of the locker room. Seconds later, my phone was vibrating against the bench.
“Kelly!” My mother’s frantic voice echoed throughout the small room. “It’s your daddy. They’re rushing him to the emergency room!”
Hurriedly, I picked up my phone. Shaky footage of my mother’s home moved around the screen as she rushed to gather her purse and keys. “Mama, what? What’s going on?”
Tears welled in her eyes. Stress lines filled the corner and around her mouth. “I don’t know, Kelly. Doug said they were talking to Khalil and Zay at one of the centers, then your dad started complaining of chest pains.”
