Page 25 of Lily In The Valley
“Kelly, it’s already shifted.”
She let me sit with my thoughts. All eyes grazed over my face, trying to read my mind. It had shifted. It terrified me. Not knowing what the outcome would be. I knew Khalil like I knew myself. We were one in the same. For so long, neither one of us dreamed of settling down. We liked our freedom, our independence, the ability to move around as we saw fit. But in the past few months, something changed. He became familiar in the same way I used the same coffee mug. Familiar like the laundry detergent brand I had on auto-buy so I’d never run out. I don’t know when it happened. How it happened.
It just happened.
And I’d been blinded by its silent conquest.
“When are you going to tell him about Seattle?”
“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “It won’t be long. He’ll keep pestering me until I tell him.”
“And you love it,” Lynn cackled out.
“Hush up.” I smiled back. “You make me sound like a lovesick teenager.” I took my spot back on the long end of the couch, hoping a few traces of Khalil’s scent were still trapped in the soft fibers.
“She’s blushing!” Vanessa exclaimed. “She’s in love!”
“Shut up before he hears you!” I squealed. “I’ll never get rid of him.”
“Come on, Kelly,” Nyah said. “Admit you love him. We won’t tell.”
I fiddled my fingers into my shirt. Slowly, I turned my head to face my sisters, the people I could be my most authentic self with. A smile crept into the corners of my mouth. My face warmed as a lightness entered my heart. I bit my lip to contain the truth, but it didn’t help. The truth was clear.
“I love him,” I said just loud enough for them to hear. And as soon as the words escaped my lips, I wished I could take them back. Because now that they were out there, drifting in the realm of reality, it would hurt that much more to watch them be snuffed out.
Chapter 8
Khalil
Seattle.
Fucking Seattle.
Not Johns Hopkins. Not Stanford. But Seattle.
I didn’t need to hear the full conversation to know Kelly was reeling from not getting matched with her first choice. I knew she’d start masking, pretending everything was fine. I heard it in the light laughter she gave her friends. I’d started to go downstairs to find more drop cloths when I’d overheard their conversation. The finality of it threatened to gut me had it not been for the last words she’d said.
I love him.
I’d never heard her utter the words before. Not in that way.
Some would say I had butterflies. Little flutters in my chest knowing the feeling was mutual. I’d tell them they were wrong. To me, it was always a low hum in my soul. Not panic. Not fear. Just energy. Coiled. Focused. Ready.
And it was all the sign I needed to know that this would be our time. Time to stop the games. Time to get serious. Time to be us. That was the feeling I took with me walking into the conference room of the new office Xavier and I shared. The wallswere lined with mock-ups of the community center we were renovating. Blueprints of the new health clinic wing laid across the large table like war plans.
“You still getting nervous about giving project updates?” I asked, adjusting the collar of my shirt.
“Yeah, man. I didn’t think it was possible. But it’s Nessa’s dad. I want to make sure it’s right.” Xavier nodded, tapping through the slideshow one last time. “They got a lot of faith in us. You got the outreach breakdown?”
“In my bag,” I said. “And, I double-checked the budget proposal. And, I triple-checked the vendor approvals for the back-to-school event.”
He glanced up at me, one brow raised. “You been triple-checking a lot, lately? What’s with that?”
“I like knowing we got all our bases covered. You know Kelly bitch-ass daddy always got something to say. Like we don’t know how to doourjob.” I smacked my teeth, irritated by the thought.
“Nah, you just like being the one in control.” He laughed, shaking his head.
“I like making an impact.” He smirked but didn’t push it. “So, how you feeling, since you want to dig in my head?”
