Page 69 of Lily In The Valley
She grappled with loosening herself from his hold. “Jordan, you need to leave,” she urged.
He looked down at her with disgust. Dropped his hands, grabbed his things, and started for the door. “Waste of time. Bitch didn’t even give up any pussy,” he grumbled under his breath.
“Who you calling a bitch?” Kelly yelled.
I barely registered the response over the sound of my hand connecting to his face. Fist to jaw. He stumbled back into the table Kelly had in her entryway, slouching forward. Kelly screamed, trying to wedge herself between us, but Jordan flew at me, arms flailing around. I tucked Kelly behind me before swinging again, this time connecting with his ribs. Jordan folded over, grunting, continuing to stumble while trying to gain his footing.
“Khalil, stop!”
Jordan tried lunging forward with a slow swing. I ducked and followed with another punch to the bridge of his nose. He stumbled back, his hands flew to his face. Kelly tugged on the back of my hoodie, begging me to stop. I couldn’t. I saw red. Not the flash of anger kind. Something deeper, like something split inside me, raw and deep. Not jealousy. Not betrayal. Like deepening a wound that’d just begun to heal. Something in mychest folded in on itself. The repeat of heartbreak. It didn’t cut like the first time. No, this time was cleaner. Because this time, I knew exactly what I was losing.
Kelly yanked me back as my vision cleared. My ears still rang as heat radiated from my skin. Jordan stood straight, heaving, nose bloodied, pride gone. “Fuck this,” he spit. “You can keep this bullshit drama.”
“Get the fuck out,” she snapped, her voice sharp enough to slice concrete. As Jordan limped across the threshold and down the hall, we noticed the neighbor across the hall peeking from a crack in their door. “Mind your damn business,” Kelly yelled across the hall, slamming her door closed. The silence that followed wasn’t awkward.
It was war.
I stood there breathing hard. My chest pounded with the rage of a thousand storms over open sea. She looked at me like I’d burned her house down.
“Are you done?” she asked coldly.
“That’s the type of nigga you trying to be with?” I spat back. “You going out sad, Dr. Reid.”
“Why are you here?” Fury and fear blazed in her eyes, leaving me standing alone in the entryway.
I stepped inside without asking. Her place smelled like lavender and fresh linen. A candle burned low on her coffee table, a wine glass left stranded by the sink. I walked farther into the too small apartment, glancing into the bedroom. Her bed was half-made. The kind of messy that didn’t come from sleeping alone. I dropped my bag on the floor next to the bar stools. Kelly stood by the door, arms crossed over her chest, like she was bracing for impact.
“You couldn’t even wait until the dirt settled on your mama’s grave, huh?” I swiped at my nose, pacing next to the bar counter.
“Don’t,” she whispered, her voice trembling.
“Were you going to fuck him?” I asked, my voice flat, straight to the point.
“No, Khalil! I swear. I just didn’t want to be alone.” Her voice was small, weak. The fury in her eyes transformed into pain.
I laughed. Not because it was funny, but because if I didn’t, I might break something.
“You got me out here worried, praying for your ass, trying to hold you together from two thousand miles away. And this what you doing?”
She stepped forward. “Khalil, stop.”
“No,” I snapped. “You don’t get to shut me up right now.”
“I didn’t do anything wrong.”
I blinked. “The fuck you just say?”
“We’re not together. You said you’d give me space. You said you’d wait. I didn’t ask you to.”
“You also begged me to stay in your life. Said you needed me.”
“And I did,” she snapped. “I do. But that doesn’t mean I’m ready to be yours.”
“That doesn’t mean you fuck somebody else while I’m still trying, Kelly.”
“You think this is easy for me?” she said, her voice rising. “You think I wanted this?”
“I don’t know what the hell you want,” I shot back. “Because all you do is push me away and then cry when I’m not standing there to catch you.”
