Page 89 of Lily In The Valley
“I think if there’s still love under all that hurt, it ain’t ever too late. Look at me and Nessa today.”
“What about Nessa?” Vanessa asked, walking into the kitchen, her natural coils still wild from sleep. “Ooo, are those boudin kolaches? I smelled them from down the hall.”
Xavier relinquished the box to Vanessa, who enjoyed the meal too much. I didn’t miss the adoring way he looked at his future wife and mother of his child. Even as she stuffed her face and talked with her mouth full. I wanted that for myself.
“You look pitiful, Khalil. Regretting all that babysitting you owe us.”
“Yeah, yeah,” I replied, smirking.
“When are you and Kelly going to get it together?” she asked, munching away on the kolache in her hand as she stood between Xavier’s legs. He rubbed her stomach while looking at her like she was the moon, the sun, and the stars.
“I know you not talking. How long you made this clown wait until you gave him a chance?”
“Hey now! I had to be sure,” she argued back. “But now we’re back like we were meant to be. My peace.”
Xavier kissed his fiancée on the lips, then swatted her away. “So what you going to do?”
I sighed, thinking over my options. I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to drive to her pop’s house, tell her all was forgiven, and have us pick up the pieces together. But deep down, tucked away in a small, blue suitcase was the fear that held me back. Left me paralyzed.
Xavier stood and stretched. “Look, whatever you do, don’t do nothing reckless?”
“Define reckless.”
He squinted at me. “Khalil. I’m not trying to have nobody sue us ‘cause you can’t keep your hands to yourself.”
I grinned. “Man, old dude asked for that ass whooping.”
He rolled his eyes and headed toward the hallway with Vanessa following behind, her fingers laced with his.
“When you figure it out,” he called over his shoulder, “see yourself out. We going back to sleep.”
I stayed there for a while, alone in their kitchen, staring at the half-eaten box of food. My phone buzzed once, then again.
Tasha
Want takeout when you come over?
I’m thinking Rice Box. Their fried rice is calling my name.
Eventually, I grabbed my keys and left, letting the door click shut behind me. The drive to Tasha’s was quiet. No music. Just the hum of the engine and my thoughts looping back to the way Kelly’s face softened when I dipped her and picked her up in one swoop. By the time I pulled into the driveway, an ache stretched in my chest. I knew where I wanted to be. But I also knew you shouldn’t touch a hot stove twice.
Inside, Tasha was curled on the couch, phone pressed to her ear, half-watching some low-budget movie. Peaceful. Pretty. Simple.
But I couldn’t unsee what I saw in that booth with Kelly. Couldn’t unfeel the ache of watching her drive away. For the first time since I’d met Tasha, I wondered if I’d walked into her life just to stop myself from drowning. And now that I could breathe again, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to stay.
Chapter 27
Khalil
My fathernever stayed in one place long. I learned that about him after my mother left. The longest place we stayed was my aunt’s house the years he waited for her return. When we moved to North Texas, we changed apartments like babies changed diapers. When I’d gotten to high school, I begged him to stay put so I could have a normal high school experience. Have friends, play football. As soon as I graduated and left for college, he was on the move again.
Pack light.Love light. That was his motto. Move on before things get heavy. Before comfort turned to complacency. Before love became something you had to drag behind you like a busted tailpipe on a freeway. He didn’t say those words out loud. Not once. But he lived them so loud I didn’t need him to.
So, when he texted me that he was flying in for the weekend, no reason, just a “Thinking about you son,” and a screenshot of his Southwest itinerary, I stared at the message for five minutes before he landed. I knew something was off.
We hadn’t visited each other in more than a year. When he called, he didn’t do small talk, just jumped straight to the point. He did the important stuff. Paid for school fees, made sure I wasat practice on time, taught me how to tie a tie. But he stayed emotionally in the shallow end, just far enough to say he showed up, never deep enough to drown.
Then, I got a follow-up message:
