Page 92 of Lily In The Valley
“I loved that woman so hard, it felt like drowning. And I kept going back in because I thoughtmylove was supposed to be the thing that saved her.” He paused. Took another sip. “It wasn’t.”
I didn’t ask more, but he kept going.
“Your mama was brilliant. Soft in ways the world didn’t understand. But she had demons. And somewhere along the way, the demons started winning.”
I listened, heart in my throat.
“I tried everything. Therapy. Church. Threats. Pleading. Silence. I thought if I juststayed, she’d get tired of the darkness and come back into the light with me.” He looked up at me. “She didn’t.”
My throat burned. “So what’d you do?” I asked.
“I started saving myself.” He let the words travel up to the darkening sky with the residual smoke from the pit. “And when I finally came up for air, I realized I was trying to raise a son in the middle of a war zone. So I gave up.” Silence again. “How’s Kelly doing? Josie told me she been taking her mama passing rough.”
“She’s doing better now. She’s back home for a bit before she goes back to Seattle.”
“What happened with you two?”
I exhaled through my nose. “It was… complicated.”
He chuckled. “Love is complicated.”
“She’s smart. Passionate. Focused. She feels things deep but acts like she doesn’t. She pushes everybody away to see if they’ll come back.”
“Did you?”
I nodded. “Too many times.”
He looked over at me with something close to sympathy. “You still love her?”
I hesitated. Then nodded again. He didn’t press.
Instead, he said, “Love like that don’t die easy. But it’ll takeeverythingfrom you if you don’t know who you are without it.”
“I tried to help her.”
“I know,” he said. “But you can’t save someone who don’t want to be saved.”
I swallowed.
“I don’t think she didn’t want to be,” I said quietly. “I think she just didn’t believe she was worth saving.”
He nodded slowly.
“That’s what scared me most about your mother. Not that she left. Not that the drugs changed her. But that she stopped seeing herself as somebody worth fighting for.” He stared into the dying fire, eyes far away now. “If she’d been willing to save herself, I’d still be with her.”
The sentence landed with the weight of a confession and a benediction. He didn’t say it directly. Didn’t need to. But I heard it anyway — the unspoken name floating beneath the truth.
Kelly.
Chapter 28
Khalil
The plan was simple:drinks, a game or two of pool, and some much-needed trash talk. Me, Wesley, and Maverick hit up this old bar in EaDo. Wood-paneled walls, neon beer signs, music spinning low through a battered speaker. The floor stuck to your shoes, and the bartender didn’t ask for a tab until you ordered three rounds in. It felt like college again with Wesley replacing Xavier. Back when none of us knew shit but all of us thought we were men. Wesley tossed the first round of darts. Missed the bullseye by three inches.
“Damn,” I muttered, sipping my drink.
“That was a warm-up,” he said, clearly lying.
