Page 112 of Daniil
Anger that it came to this.
Concern for the babies he left behind.
“Was anyone else hurt?”I ask after a moment.
He shakes his head.“We used professionals.They knew what they were doing.”
“Fuck.”It’s irrational, but I feel bad.
“It’s not your fault he couldn’t get over you,” he says gently.“That’s on him.”
“His children are now orphans.Thatis on me.”
“Again, he made choices.He decided to screw you over and get rich at the same time.He’s been taking kickbacks for over a year.Maybe longer.”
I hate everything we’ve uncovered about Jesper.The money he’s been hiding.The deals he was making to screw over the royal family.The lies he was telling.It’s been a lot, and I know it hit Joe even harder.
Joe’s been through the wringer the last month as well.He had to be interrogated, his finances picked through with a fine-tooth comb—all while he was caring for Charlie and Briony.He didn’t want to upset their lives any more than he had to, but he’s also been clear that he can’t raise them.He never wanted children of his own and only agreed to be Jesper’s partner with the understanding that he wouldn’t ever be their primary parent.
So now they’re losing yet another parent.
First me, then Jesper, and soon Joe.
Which makes me feel like the world’s worst human.Not only did I abandon them, I abandoned my own son.And regret fills me every single day.
“I know you’re beating yourself up right now,” Erik says as we walk.“But don’t.He did this to himself.Long before he found out about you and Courtney, he was taking bribes.Working against us behind our backs.Yes, you broke his heart, but he made choices that cost him his life.”
“And I’ve made choices that helped him along.”
“Maybe.”He pauses at the elevators and looks at me.“And maybe it’s time to make better choices.”
“What does that mean?”I demand.
“You remember being in exile?”
“No,” I say drolly.“I’ve forgotten.”
“I faked my death, letting the woman I loved—who was pregnant with my child at the time—think I died.I let another man raise him.I let her spend ten fucking years mourning me.I missed out on fucking everything because I thought it was better for him.For them.”
“Wasn’t it?”I demand.
“No.”He shakes his head firmly.“She was miserable.My son is so confused now, and I can’t blame him.He spent the first ten years of his life as a normal kid.Then suddenly he finds out he’s a prince, the heir to the throne of a country he knows nothing about.He’s been moved halfway across the world to learn a new language, new customs, and potentially be molded into a future king.Meanwhile, my wife, the woman I love more than anything on this earth, gave up her very lucrative career as a musician.
“I should have taken her on the run with me.We would have been stronger together.And yes, I have her back, but I know she misses music.I know Luke misses his friends and family in Vegas.Everything about this life we lead is hard.So, if there’s a way for you to make it easier, you should.”
All I can do is stare at him.
I’ve never heard Erik express regrets about…anything.
I’m kind of floored.
“Can you not talk in hyperbole and just say what you’re trying to say?”I demand.
He smiles.“Go get her, Dan.I need you to stay on as Minister of Foreign Affairs until January, so we can elect someone we trust to replace you, but you don’t owe me anything.”
“I took an oath—owing you my life.”
His gaze is scrutinous, focused.“Do you love her?”
