Page 19 of Daniil
“I didn’t know that.”
“Maybe you should have asked.”
Maybe I should have but I was frustrated when I had to leave my friend in that tunnel, taking two people I didn’t care about as much as her to safety while she lay there, hoping she wouldn’t die before help could arrive.
“What do you want to do now?”I ask after a long, uncomfortable silence.“If you try to take him from me, you’d better be willing to kill me because?—”
“Jesus Christ, Courtney!”He jumps to his feet and glares.“Do you really think me some kind of monster?”
“Not a monster.”I shrug.“Just a man who’s been to hell and back because of his title and bloodline.I don’t think you have the same moral code as the rest of us.”
“Moral code… you think I’d kill the mother of my child so I could take custody?”He stares at me like he’s never seen me before, and a tiny hint of doubt creeps in.
I’m being hard on him.But we’re talking about my baby, an innocent child brought into the world.He didn’t ask to be thrown into the war to control Limaj’s oil.There are a lot of reasons Erik, Sandor, and Daniil spent nearly a decade in exile.
Cousins.Friends.Next in line to the throne.It was always going to be Erik, but I know Sandor and Daniil would have been up to the task if Erik had been killed.And their Royal Protector vows go back to before Erik took the throne, so this was a life they were destined for.I understand that—I simply don’t want to be part of it.
“You’re fine being Uncle Danny to Briony and Charlie—you can do that here.You don’t have to formally acknowledge him.You can come visit, send money, whatever makes you feel better but?—”
“Knock it the fuck off,” he growls, beginning to pace.“I’m not going to be Uncle Danny to my son.My son, Courtney.He’s my son—myheir.”
Oh, great.He’s already throwing around words like heir.
“He doesn’t have to be.”
We stare at each other, and I back down first because despite my good intentions, I know hiding his kid from him puts me in a negative light.
“You really don’t understand, do you?”I whisper.
“Of course I understand!”he yells, throwing up his hands.“If I didn’t understand, I would have already ordered the paternity test and hired a lawyer.I wouldn’t be sitting here defending my heritage and culture.”
“You haven’t defended anything,” I point out.“You’ve just yelled or tried to make me feel bad.And I do feel bad for keeping him from you.There were so many nights I lay awake wondering if I should reach out.Call.Text.Tell Lennox.But in the end, the memory of what happened in that tunnel haunted me.It still does.And if you love your son, or at least the idea of him since you don’t know him yet…you’d know thatnotstepping up as his father is the right thing to do.
“It means he’s safe.He’ll never be in a tunnel racing for his life.He’ll never be at the Christmas markets having fun with his cousins and get kidnapped.”That happened to Crown Prince Lucas a couple of years ago.“He’ll just be Micah Grimshaw, son to a single mom who would die for him.Forhim, Daniil.Not for you, not for Erik, not for anyone.My entire world is focused onhim.”
Daniil is quiet for a long time before he says, “Can I… see him?Hold him?Would he come to me or is he nervous around strangers?”
“He’s pretty laid-back for a five-month-old.Sometimes he’s shy but it depends.”
“I’d like to touch him.Look at him.I feel…” He stares at the ceiling.“I’m confused too.”
“I know.I’m sorry.”I get to my feet and approach him slowly.“Daniil, I didn’t do this to hurt you.It wasn’t a statement about your ability to be a father.Not really.Those were excuses to make me feel better, because I was torn.But at the end of the day, it boils down to his safety.The identity I want for him.You don’t want him drawn into the chaos of your life.Do you?”
He stares down at me and I’m momentarily blinded.
Aqua-blue eyes.
Full, red lips.
High cheekbones and a patrician nose.
Broad shoulders that I know taper into lean hips and strong thighs.I distinctly remember what it’s like to have that gorgeous body cover mine.Pleasuring me like no one else ever has.
Fuck.
I can’t think aboutthat.
Not now.Everything hinges on what he decides to do next.
