Page 13 of Sunkissed Memories
“You want to stay in Nantucket for the long haul?”
“I want to be one of those writers who previously lived in New York,” he said with a wry laugh. “I want to walk along the ocean and feel expansive and alive and filled with hope. I don’t want to smell the city's smells anymore. I want my next poetry collection to be about all the fresh life I’ve found out here, so far from all the pain I left behind.”
Ada’s eyes smarted, but she blinked fast to correct. The last thing she wanted was for her new patient to know what a sap she could be. But the truth was, she’d never heard a patient speak so eloquently about a future he saw for himself. She wondered what it had been like to be Nick’s wife, if he’d written little poems for her and left them around their apartment. He and his wife had had the city life she’d assumed she would have, with her opera career and the swarming streets and the exotic foods. Instead, they were both here in Nantucket.
“I’m here for vague reasons,” Nick said finally, bringing his eyes back to Ada’s. “I need help managing my daughter’s emotions, because I want her to feel safe and protected, and I want her to feel like she wants to come home to visit me often when she’s gone. But I’m also here for myself. I still haven’t figured out how to be in the world since Samantha died. I’ve had writer’s block, which is embarrassing to admit.”
“It’s not,” Ada assured. “After such emotional turmoil, it’s easy for the brain to misfire. But it doesn’t last forever.”
Nick sniffed. “I hope you’re right.”
It was time for Nick to go, and nearly time for Ada’s next and final patient of the morning to arrive. Ada got up and thanked Nick for his time, surprised that her heartbeat was so frantic, likethe wings of a hummingbird. She walked Nick to the door and said she’d see him next week.
“It doesn’t have to be on a Saturday,” he said. “I can meet almost any day of the week. Whenever you have time for me.” He hesitated. “I really want to get better. I want to make up for lost time.”
“Talk to my secretary,” she said, forcing herself to scowl so that she didn’t smile too much at this handsome, creative man. “We can work something out.”
Nick thanked her and disappeared through the door, leaving her with her hands at her sides and her mouth dry. Before her next patient arrived, she quickly checked her phone and googled Nick Willis, a poet, reading the first poem that came up. It had won a literary prize with numerous accolades. There had been a ceremony, where he’d performed a reading of his poem in front of three hundred people. In several articles, people were calling him the freshest face in the world of poetry, a man who could wrangle the English language and transform it into whatever he needed it to be. Not all of it made sense to Ada, but she found his use of words and phrases beautiful, so much so that tears filled her eyes again.
Some of his poems were about
It was then that she remembered Peter. Now that it was nearly eleven, he was probably almost in the city. She dialed his number, her hand shaking. It rang and rang, but he didn’t answer.
Chapter Seven
At one thirty under a seventy-degree sun, the Nantucket varsity matches began. Ada, Kathy, Kade, and Olivia sat on the stands, eating popcorn and watching as Hannah glided across the court, getting to each and every ball, and oftentimes smashing it over the net. Ada was captivated and always nervous, hardly aware of the girls on the other court, as she was entirely fixated on her daughter. When Hannah won the first match, she grabbed a bright blue sports drink and came over to hang with her family and watch the other girls. She had two additional matches left that afternoon, but she looked determined and ready to play. Ada made her eat an extra snack and combed her fingers through her hair.
“You’re killing it, honey,” she said, then took a photo of Hannah to send to Peter. “I know your dad wishes he could be here.”
“It’s not a big deal.” Hannah shrugged, then twisted away so that Ada couldn’t see her face. “Hey, some of the girls were talking about hanging out after this. I was thinking, you know, I’m a senior. Maybe I should invite everyone over?” Hannah kept her eyes on the match three courts away, where one of her teammates ran up to the net, blond ponytail whipping.
Ada decided this was the perfect way to help her daughter forget her father’s absence. “Yes! We’ll turn on the hot tub and order food for everyone,” Ada declared. She couldn’t believe these were her daughter’s final high school matches, a four-year journey that had brought Hannah further and further away from Ada.
During the next two matches, Ada clapped and howlednice shotandlet’s go, Hannah!until her voice went hoarse. Miraculously, the other girls on the Nantucket team were winning right and left, and soon it was announced that Nantucket had earned enough points to be named the all-around winners of the tournament. Ada, Kathy, Kade, and Olivia were on their feet, clapping their hands. Kade mentioned going to meet a friend, and Olivia expressed her desire to go somewhere for a sleepover. Ada decided it was all the better. She’d have tons of tennis players at the house and more than enough to deal with.
After the trophies were handed out and the seniors were honored, Kathy drove back to the house first to make sure everything was clean and tidy for the high schoolers. Ada hung back, watching as Hannah chatted with her coach and hugged her teammates. They were going to miss each other; these would be the memories they carried with them forever.
When Hannah reached her mother, she was glistening with sweat, and her hair hung down her back in tangles. But she threw her arms around her and said, “Thank you.”
Ada was caught off guard. Before she could ask what Hannah was thanking her for, Hannah explained that all the girls were coming to the house, and she’d promised pizza, if that was all right.
“Pizza? Again?” Ada laughed.
Hannah shrugged. “It’s what we want. I could eat it every day.”
“You know what? I could eat it every day, too,” Ada said, gathering her purse and watching as the other players leaped into one another’s cars and peeled off for her place. She was grateful to be the destination, the safe space for fun and relaxation. She imagined them staying up late, watching romantic comedies, and sharing secrets. Hannah was so often a loner, so it meant something that she wanted to have her teammates over.
Back at the house, twelve tennis players gathered on the back porch over boxes of pizza and cups of Coke. Kathy and Ada sat off to the side with their own plates of pizza, listening to the girls giggle and talk about their various matches. Another senior had nearly lost her match when her opponent had prepared to smash a ball over the net, but the opponent had just barely missed the ball, sending it into the ground instead. After that, the Nantucket senior had fought valiantly and secured a victory.
“I lucked out,” the senior said.
They high-fived and took more pizza before deciding to change into their suits and get into the hot tub. Two years ago, Peter had opted for the ultra-large hot tub to accommodate their entire family. Because the girls were slender, all twelve of them could stuff themselves inside the hot tub. Ada took their photograph and sat at the edge, wrapped in a blanket and inhaling the steam from the tub. She knew better than to check her phone, but she did anyway and realized that Peter still hadn’t responded, not even to the photographs she’d sent from the match.
She tried another text.
ME:How is Max? I’m worried about you.
Through the kitchen window, she could see her mother cleaning the counters and whistling to herself. For the first time, she felt truly grateful that her mother was here.My only friend, she thought inexplicably, then cursed herself.
