Page 60 of Like Fathers, Like Son
The not knowing was driving me crazy, because if he was okay, might he still suddenly turn up again and steal me away? Would I ever be safe again if he had survived?
I went back to work, and struggled to get back into my daily life, because everything felt like the wrong fit, as if I was trying to assimilate into someone else’s place. I withdrew from the people I knew, stopped making an effort with friends and colleagues, and became more and more isolated over the next few weeks.
When my period didn’t happen as expected, I bought one of those testing kits and had my suspicions confirmed.
I was pregnant with Blaze’s baby.
35
Blaze
Theweekswithoutherhad been bleak, but not completely lonely, and the reason was that I still saw her every day. I knew she was back living with her mother, and I knew she was back at work. I never let her see me, but I was everywhere she was.
I knew when she went out at lunch, to buy a sandwich from the local shop before she went back and carried on. I even stood behind her in the queue a few times, catching the scent of her perfume, and being blissfully reminded of what it was like to be in her presence.
Getting into her house wasn’t as easy as it’d been as a kid. I was bigger and easier to spot, and her mother was almost always home. She had some condition that meant she was ill quite often, and worked from home.
The house we’d lived in was easier in many ways. An old guy was living there now, and he’d let me in one day to ‘see my old home’ and we’d become friendly. When he said he was looking for someone to rent a room, I moved back into my old bedroom and paid him weekly for the privilege. When I wasn’t out stalking Anneka, we’d sit and play chess, and talk about everything from current affairs to the wonders of the cosmos.
At night when Anneka was in bed, sometimes I’d be able to let myself in and sneak around. On more than one occasion, I jerked off in her bedroom while I watched her sleep, wishing I could just climb in with her, and feel her soft curves against my skin again.
The urge to pull the covers back, and ease inside her body while she slept, was so strong sometimes that I would have to force myself away, just before I touched her. I started taking clothes from her room when she and her mother were both out, and then I’d wonder what the fuck I was playing at, because eventually she’d realise.
Twenty three days after she escaped, I found myself more desperate than ever to touch her, and I sat on the bed as she slept, reaching out to stroke her shiny red hair away from her face.
When it didn’t wake her, I felt emboldened enough to lean closer and press my lips against her forehead, and that’s when she woke. In a split second, I slammed my hand over her mouth and waited until she focused on me, and her breathing sped up.
“Shh.” Her eyes darted around the room, and she started struggling to move, so I climbed on top of her and held her down, keeping her effectively gagged, until the strength and fight drained out of her.
“I won’t hurt you. I just… needed to see you.”
Anneka blinked fast, mumbling something, her warm breath caressing my hand as I slowly lifted it.
“Don’t scream.” She shook her head, and I moved my hand further back, but I stayed on top of her because I’d missed the feel of her beneath me. I wished the covers weren’t separating us, so I could feel her skin and stroke her, cup her breasts, suck on them, and fuck her.
“What are you doing here? I haven’t told anyone, I swear!” She was hissing angrily at me, but I could see the fear in her eyes. She’d probably been waiting for this to happen, knowing I’d never stay away forever.
“I uh… I know you kept your word, Anneka. I’m grateful to you for that, but I missed you. I just had to see you, and and… uh…”
“You didn’t die,” she muttered, looking both relieved and gutted at once.
“What?”
“I sometimes wonder if you called for help, that’s all. Can you get off me?” I shook my head, reaching out to stroke her cheek.
“Just let me have this, Anneka. I’ve been away from you for so long.”
Her hand suddenly darted up and grabbed my wrist, and she tried tugging my hand away from her face.
“God, I missed you. I missed this beautiful face, and your soft skin. The way you smell. The feel of your body beneath mine.”
“Blaze, you need to leave. You promised you’d stay away!”
“And I did. It’s been killing me to stay away from you. Jesus, I really want to touch you, and fuck you, Anneka.”
“No, Blaze! Don’t make me scream for help, because I will.”
She struggled beneath me, and fuck, the feel of her moving beneath me like that, it had me hard as a rock, and before I knew what I was doing, my lips were on hers and despite her hands pushing against my shoulders, her lips parted and I deepened the kiss.
