Page 50 of Like Fathers, Like Son
I grinned widely, and I saw her shock at that unexpected and probably abnormal reaction to her statement. She hadn’t heard the best part yet.
Anneka
WHY DID I THINK Blaze would be shocked, or feel bad for talking about a person like that when they’d died, and had obviously been in real turmoil.
“How’d he kill himself?” He asked, reaching one hand down to smooth over his t-shirt, but it was almost like he was preening or something equally fucked up.
“He… he slit his wrists.” Blaze smirked at me, and suddenly I was wondering all kinds of things that I really didn’t want him to confirm, but he was clearly about to.
“I-”
“Yeah… you’re figuring it out, aren’t you? You know men are usually more likely to do something more dramatic, like shoot themselves, yeah, like guns are so easy to get over here. They tend to do things like crash cars, or jump in front of trains. In the end though, I just wanted him gone, so I could move on.”
Oh god. He… he was really taking responsibility for it, wasn’t he?
“You did that to him?”
Blaze grinned again, and I’d noticed his smiles and grins were becoming cruel and twisted again. More like when he was abusing me, and less like the congenial version of himself he’d pretended to be since I woke up.
“I made him beg me to kill him as painlessly as possible, and like the pussy he was, he fucking undressed and got in that bath and did it. I just watched and enjoyed his terror and shame. It was less than he deserved, but he wasn’t the main target of my rage, see.That’s you.”
I’d been pretty sure, after the horrible things Blaze had done to me already, that I couldn’t be more afraid of him, but he’d just proved me wrong yet again. He was truly unhinged, and couldn’t be more deadly, or more of a threat to me, and he still hadn’t explained why he was even doing this.
He was watching me, that small grin growing on his face as he absorbed my panic and dread.
“You’re wondering if I’ll kill you too, aren’t you? I might. I honestly haven’t decided yet. I really like the idea of us having a baby, and that’s not something I ever thought I’d want, but something about you makes me want to see you filled with my babies.”
My god. There was no end to his sickness, was there? For that, he’d have to keep forcing me, and I didn’t know if I could survive more of his brutality. There was just no way out for me, was there?
“Will you at least tell me what we apparently did to deserve this, Blaze? I feel like I need to understand what happened that impacted you so badly, and made you need to hurt me like this. Made you need to kill anyone.”
He moved, and I tensed, but he was only setting his empty mug on the bedside table. He pointed at mine too and I nodded, letting him take it, then immediately missing it because it had somehow felt like a barrier between us, and I’d just given it up.
He grabbed the spare pillow and tucked it under his head as he laid back beside me, but with his head nearer the foot of the bed, so he could watch me as he told me whatever horrors he was about to share. For someone about to bare their soul, he looked relaxed, lacing his hands behind his head.
“When I finally moved to senior school, I really thought my life would change, and things would be exciting and different, because I wouldn’t be a kid anymore, right? I was also going to be at the same school as you, and I’d waited what felt like forever to be able to walk the same halls as you, and sit in the same classes, maybe even the same chairs you’d sat in. You were a few years ahead of me, so I expected you to feel like you couldn’t hang with me, but I didn’t mind. I’d get to see you, to smell your perfume if I got close enough, and just be near you.”
I pulled my legs up and wrapped my arms around them, a dull ache between my legs reminding me of the things he’d done so far. They were so at odds with his words right now. The hopeful words of a teenager, who’d finally made it to the ‘grown up’ part of their school life. What had gone so wrong there? Why couldn’t I remember?
“You were all over that fuckhead Boon, like he was some kind of god, but he was a pure asshole. He bullied the smaller kids, and really didn’t like new kids in his school. Do you remember that first day I tried to talk to you when he was there? We were in the cafeteria, and I asked if I could sit at your table. I thought surely she’ll take pity on me on my first fucking week at this place. It was so big, so full of people, and I’m man enough now to admit that it was fucking terrifying too. The handful of kids I’d known in my last class barely even made up a fraction of the kids at this new school.”
I couldn’t understand how that moment was some kind of catalyst.
“I do remember saying yes, and you joined us, Blaze. Don’t you remember that?”
His face contorted, and he practically snarled at me in response.
“I remember everything, Anneka.Every. Little. Fucking. Thing. Like the way you let that asshole talk down to me like I was some loser. Like the way you just ‘let it slip’ that I had three parents. I remember him being so fascinated that he wouldn’t shut up asking about it. I remember us leaving the cafeteria and walking behind you guys out of there, and I remember what you fucking said to him.”
I hugged my legs tighter. We’d talked about his parents or his family as we left? Why would we have done that if we knew he was behind us?
“You thought I’d gone the other way, that’s the only thing I can assume, because you weren’t normally so cruel. He asked you how you knew me, if we were friends or more. You laughed. You laughed at the thought of it, and then you told him you didn’t date freaks. You said my family was weird and abnormal. You told him my dads FUCK EACH OTHER!” He was practically screaming those last few words at me, suddenly sitting and close to me, too close.
I tried pulling away but he followed me, until I was pressed tight against the pillows, tight enough to feel the metal of the headboard through the pillows. I was trapped with nowhere to go.
30
Blaze
