Page 93 of Like Fathers, Like Son
Was it any different from me holding her down and forcing myself on her? Wasn’t it just another form of rape? A forced tattoo? Something more permanent than even the baby I’d forced on her. I rounded the bed and sat beside her, gritting my teeth as she edged away so we wouldn’t touch.
“Take these, babe. They’ll help with the pain.”
Her angry gaze fixed on me again, but I could see the hurt in those beautiful blue eyes of hers. I’d hurt her again, and suddenly I realised that mattered more than some stupid need to mark her as mine.
“I’m sorry. I fucked up again, babe, but you’ll get used to it when the pain fades. It doesn’t last long.” I wasn’t so sure about that, because my pain threshold was clearly different from hers, and tattoo pain was something I actually quite enjoyed. Why else would I get so fucking many tats?
She was still glaring at me, even as she sat up and took the drink and the painkillers, which probably told me a hell of a lot about her pain threshold, and made me wonder how the fuck she was going to give birth, unless they gave her a shitload of drugs.
“I didn’t mean to betray you, but we’re moving forward, and that means that I don’t want another man’s name on you, especially my dad’s.”
“It was a cartoon fish, you fucking psycho! I loved that movie, and it was a fun thing to do which I realised hurt like a bitch, and never planned to do again. You forced that on me.”
“I know,” I said, because I really did, but I couldn’t let this be the final straw for her, and she needed to see that I was trying to show her my love.
“Anneka, you’ve seen a lot of sides to me, and I realise they’re mostly bad. You’ve pointed it out often enough, but I’m not dumb enough to think that my actions are okay. I get that everything I’ve done to you so far has been reprehensible, but I love you, and I just want us to be happy.”
She almost choked on a mouthful of tea at the word ‘love’, which was a little insulting, but instead of taking offence, I tried patting her back until she elbowed me away.
“Love? You don’t know the meaning of the word ‘love’, Blaze. I really hoped you did, but this… this thing you did to me today? That was cruelty. Brutality.Abuse. Just more of the side of you that you keep showing me, and I keep conveniently forgiving. You don’t have many sides, Blaze. You have one, and anything other than the monster version of you is pure lies. You really think that I can forgive you for this?”
Jesus fuck, it was only a tattoo, right?I leaned closer to focus on the offending tattoo, covered with clingfilm and practically glowing at me like a real fire.
“It’s beautiful though, look, babe. Pike is the best at his craft. I took you to the best, because I knew that-”
“You took me to the only guy you knew who’d let you force me into it, and you know it. That guy who tried to stop you both? He was the only good guy among you all, and he gave in too easily.” I was still sore over that fucker trying to get involved, and hearing her call him anything favourable made me doubly certain I’d find a way to kill him later.
“He’s a prospect, babe, and Pike’s apprentice, so he’s got a lot to lose if he pisses off the club. They’re a bunch of animals, they really are.”
“Guess that’s why you fit in with them so well.”
“Come on, Anneka, I said I was sorry. Please, forgive me?” I offered her my best attempt at an innocent smile, and she rolled her eyes.
“Oooh I’m sorry I forced you into something else, Anneka, but look how cute and baby-faced I am. How can you possibly blame this adorable boy?”She mocked in a high voice, but a heavy sigh followed her words.
“That’s the last thing you’re forcing me into, Blaze. I can’t keep trusting you just to have you turn on me again. I can’t, and I won’t.”
Anneka
BLAZE’S FACE DROPPED, AND he edged closer as he reached for my face, cupping my chin when I didn’t pull back this time. Why wasn’t I pulling back? Something about Blaze just always fucking won me over.
If I could forgive him for the other things, the worse things, how could I hold a grudge about a tattoo, right? The more I looked at it, the more I liked it, even though I’d also be reminded of the way it happened for a while each time I stared at it.
“Babe, there’s just one more thing I have arranged, but it’s forus, yeah? It’s… it’s for our future,“ Blaze said earnestly, still trying the cute little boy look as he stroked my cheek. All at once I knew exactly what he was referring to, because how could it be anything else, right?
“Oh god. You’re going to make me marry you, aren’t you?” His eyes widened at the same moment he seemed to stop breathing, just for a few seconds.
“Jesus. I thought I’d have to explain that one to you, and talk you into it.”Great. Every time I thought I was in deep enough with him, he added another layer of soil over my coffin. If I was married to him, I’d never be free, would I?
But then, wasn’t a baby going to be trapping me with him anyway, regardless of a marriage certificate? Did it really make that much difference to me? After that, there would be nothing more he could do to me, would there? It almost seemed like an easy concession to make, to appease the snarling beast in him.
I made him wait another long painful minute before I finally nodded.
“Fine, but no fanfare, just something quick, and I need to see my mum first, and often. She needs my support with her fibromyalgia, and you know it.”
Blaze looked stunned, blinking rapidly as he processed the fact that I’d actually given in, rather than making it something else he had to force me into.
“Seriously?”
