Page 72 of Sparks of Insanity
I HADN'T DONE THE best job, admittedly, because there’s a reason you pay people to do this shit. They know what they’re doing, and someone like me hasn’t got a fucking clue. I watched some videos online, and it looked fairly simple, but plenty of those videos showed what could go wrong too.
There were dark patches where the bleach hadn’t been applied as evenly as I wanted, and I’d left it on only as long as it said to, so I wouldn’t make her hair fall out. That part wasn’t for her, but I figured she’d be less easy on the eye, if I made her hair drop out from over-bleaching.
“Now I’m seeing the real Ember. The woman who was once a little blonde girl who had such innocence.” She was in floods of tears now, worse than she’d been over anything else I’d done, as bad as she’d been when she’d had that flashback. Was that a tiny prick of conscience stabbing at the remains of my soul? Had I gone too far?
Her hair had been part of her identity, just like the goth makeup, and just like the tattoos. I couldn’t remove the tattoos, and I wouldn’t want to. They made her a treat for the eyes, in so many ways, but she hadn’t gone back to wearing the dark makeup after what happened with us, and honestly, I just wanted to see her the way she should have been.
The loss of her identity would also help to break her, wouldn’t it? Break her like she broke me? She took away everything thatmade me the man I was, until all that was left was to give up, and let him die.
I wasn’t going to risk her trying anything like that. No, when she died, it would be by my hand, and not hers.
“I hate you,” she sobbed, defeat evident in the slackness of her limbs as she gave in to her despair. Fuck. Maybe I did go too far. Maybe I’d pushed her over the edge into madness already.
“Ember, calm down, seriously, I could have done so much worse to you.” Nope. That didn’t calm her down at all. It was worth a try though, wasn’t it?
“EMBER. Calm the fuck down, and breathe. You pass out, and god only knows what I’ll do to you then.”
Honestly, fucking her while she was unconscious was actually pretty dull. It wasn’t that I wanted her to fight, but at least looking in her eyes and knowing she was aware of it made all the difference.
Her laying there silently as a corpse just wasn’t as hot as I’d imagined. Sure, her body had taken my cock willingly, because she wasn’t mentally able to resist, but yeah, sex with a non-responsive woman just wasn’t my bag. I bet her fucked up dads or brother would be into it though.Psychos.
She wasn’t calming down, and honestly, I considered drugging her again, to see if she’d be calmer when she next awoke, but that seemed like a risk after having just used that shit on her.
“How often can I use that stuff on you, Ember?”
She suddenly froze, her tears still dripping from her eyes as she focused on me again.
“Why? Wasn’t this enough for you, Ethan? Is there more of me you want to destroy?”
I ran my fingers over her warm skin, teasing her navel, and dragging my fingers up towards her breasts.
“Well, you used it on me twice, didn’t you? If it was so dangerous, you wouldn’t have risked that, now would you?”
Her eyes widened, still tear-filled and tortured, and then she squeezed them closed, sending those tears down her cheeks too.
“I… I don’t know.”
“So you just risked it, having no idea if it was safe to do? Because it was so important to you, to mark my skin with this permanent pornographic image of you? Baby, you only had to ask. But see… now I’m thinking I should use it on you again, and see if you can handle it too.”
I moved closer, sliding my hand over her throat and squeezing lightly, her breath catching at the sudden threat to her air supply.
“I mean, maybe that’s what pushed me into trying to end my life. Maybe that was some chemical fucking reaction, and I wouldn’t have tried it if you hadn’t been so fucking reckless with my health!” I was yelling by the last few words, and she was flinching at every single fucking one.
“What if you’d killed me, Ember? Were you just going to shrug it off, and find some other poor sap to fuck with? This is what your family does, right? You drag innocent people into your fucked up world of depraved fucking psychos, and you destroy them.”
“Ethan-”
“Don’t make me choke you to shut you up, Ember. See, I’m not done talking yet. Listen to your teacher, Ember, because I will always know best.” That said, though, I was kinda done talking.
I leaned down again, biting the side of her breast, and feeling my soul settle a little at her pained gasp. Yeah, that was a sound I needed to hear again. And again. And again.
40
Ember
Ethan left me aloneafter leaving a few more stinging bites on my breasts, and he also sat me up, but retied me before I could fight free of him. I never expected him to turn out like this, and I wasn’t sure how to reach him, if the real him was even inside anymore.
I wasn’t ready to admit it though, but this darker side of him was also really resonating with me. Wasn’t I just as dark inside? Wasn’t I just as damaged, and broken, and savage? Wasn’t his new brutality something I was already starting to find really appealing? Did I like being forced into sex? I wasn’t sure about that just yet, but I definitely wasn’t hating it like I should be. Definitely wasn’t feeling as worthless and dirty as I’d felt back in school, when I was forced into blowing those bastards, and being touched against my will.
