Page 9 of Sparks of Insanity
They were both nodding. “So the makeup on your jumper is from that,” Dory said, quirking an eyebrow at me.
“Yeah, she uh… she was crying, so I think it kind of ended up everywhere.”
“Like on your lip?”
FUCK. I reached up to swipe the back of my hand over my mouth. “I uh… probably… I don’t know.”
I watched them warily, as they both stared directly back at me. Something about the look in their eyes told me that they weren’t guys to be messed with. Would they assume I’d done something I shouldn’t have?
“Really, I probably got it on my hand and touched my face, I don’t know. Look, Em told me the things she said in therapy, and she’s really beating herself up over them. Don’t… don’t believe that’s how she really feels.” I’m butting in, and I should be minding my fucking business and getting out. Hell, they’d probably fire me, and if they didn’t, should I even come back? Lines were getting blurred fucking everywhere now. Me in her room, me touching her, her kissing me, me wanting to kiss her back, me lying to her fucking dads.
“Yeah… she was lashing out. It’s what kids do. See, we know this, because we have a few of them, and we know what they’re like, and how they react to stuff. If Ember reached out today, she was in a dark place, and so I’m grateful that you came by to talk to her,” Gray said, rubbing his right palm over his left arm, almost in an obsessively rhythmic motion.
Dory spotted the movement, and caught Gray’s hand, pulling it away from his arm.
“Okay, look, we do appreciate what you did, but you should go, and we’ll draw a line under this. You’re her tutor, and I think we need to deal with our family stuff ourselves. Thanks for coming to help Ember, uh Em, Jesus, that’s hard to remember to do. I’ll get Blaze to give her a call.”
“Already on it,” Gray said, tapping away at his phone before he shoved it in his pocket. “You should go home, Teach. Your work here is done, yeah? Well, until tomorrow.”
I got the hell out before I found out just how mean those two could get.
6
Ember
I’d kissed my teacher.What the fuck was I thinking? I mean, apart from the fact that I’d always thought he was kinda cute, and really nice.
The way he let me be me, without trying to change anything, other than what I learned for my classes. The way he indulged my art, and encouraged it as part of my lessons. I’d risked losing the best teacher I’d ever met, or been taught by.
“Em?”
I looked up as mum pushed my door open and peeked in.
“I brought you a cuppa, love.”
“Mum, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean those horrible things I said! My god, you guys are amazing parents, and we all know the issues some of us have are not because of any of you.”
Mum passed me my tea, in my favourite zombie mug.
“Can I sit?”
I nodded, and watched as she sat almost exactly where Mr E,Ethan, had. My god, he’d been in my room with me and we’d kissed. Well, I’d kissed him. No wonder he ran like that.
“Em, I think you weren’t exactly wrong, and if those things were the way you were feeling, you were right to share them with us. I know we haven’t been the best parents, but we’ve tried so hard, and I know our mistakes can harm you-”
“Mum, there were no mistakes. The only thing that harmed us was when we lied to you guys, or held stuff back, and you didn’t know enough to be able to help. We know you’ve always got our backs, and up until what happened at school, I was a happy, normal, well-rounded kid. I just got fucked up by assholes.”
She sighed, clenching her fists on her lap.
“It’s… it’s so hard not to touch you or hug you, love. I know that it’s not something you like anymore, but you were always my little princess, my sweet little angel who hugged me so often, and loved me playing with your hair, and now… it’s hard to switch off the mum part of me, that wants to hold you and make all your fears go away.”
I wished I was still that little girl too. The child who didn’t know such evil and brutality existed out there in the world, because it sure as hell didn’t under our roof.
“I’m sorry, mum. I… I’ll try, but I don’t know if it’ll-”
“I saw you let Mr Erickson hug you, love, and I’m glad that you felt you could get that comfort from someone, but I wish it had been me. That’s selfish, I know. I just… we all love you so much, sweetie. We just want you to be happy.” She saw? She SAW?
“What did you… what did you see?”
