Page 16 of Sparks of Insanity
As luck would have it, I’d almost reached his house, when a woman stepped out of the house next door, to put a bag of rubbish in her wheelie bin, and it was her. She was his neighbour. That meant she had access that I couldn’t beat, didn’t it? She could just pop next door and try it on with him. I kept walking to the end of the road and around the corner, giving it a few minutes, before I returned to slide the envelope carefully through his letterbox.
From there, I walked around the block of houses, checking out the gardens, and noting that the house belonging to her had a back gate, and her back door was open. It was like she wanted me to go in, so I did.
I stepped into a warm kitchen, and caught sight of a block of kitchen knives. Carefully sliding one free, I weighed it in my hand, that familiar rush of adrenaline surging through me at the first sharp blade I’d held since I gave up cutting. It was so tempting to use it, or keep it, but that wasn’t my purpose here.
“Who the hell are you?” I lifted my eyes to see her standing there, all mumsy and dull, thinking she was good enough for my Mr E.
“I’m here to give you a friendly warning, actually,” I gritted out, as I took a step closer to her. I hoped that my gothic makeup made me look as threatening as I wanted to appear, because I felt it on the inside, and I wanted her to feel it too.
“A… a what? Who are you?”
“Shut it, and listen to me, you ugly old cunt.”
She gasped, holding her hands up to her mouth as I approached again, hoping I looked like a vengeful woman, rather than a child playing at it.
“Stay away from him.”
She frowned as she backed up another step, lifting her hands between us now.
“Him who?”
“Your boy next door, bitch. Stay the fuck away from him, or I’ll show you my knife skills. Trust me, I’m really fucking good with a blade, and I’d love to carve up that face of yours, so people scream instead of yawn when they look at you.”
She stumbled back a few steps and hit the wall, her hands up in front of her, trembling like mad as tears filled her eyes.
“Please don’t!”
“Tell me you understand what I just said,” I hissed at her, lifting the knife and wielding it in her direction.
“Yes! Yes, I understand. Stay away from Ethan. I… I won’t go near him, I promise.”
Now, call me whatever you like, but my bullshit detector was pretty fucking good, so I knew she was humouring me right now. I stepped closer, stopping about a foot away from her, lifting the knife towards her face, smirking when she cowered, rather than trying to fight me, or hold it away from her. Any idiot would fight at this point, right?
“Don’t just fucking say it if you have no intention of doing it! I’m watching you, you fucking whore, and I’ll sneak back in here and gut you like a fucking fish, if I even see you near him again.”
Her phone started ringing somewhere in the house, and I saw her eyes dart in the direction of the door nearest to her. Did that sound give her some sense of hope? Did she really think the person on the other end of that phone could save her?
“Shall I leave you with a little taste of what you’ll get if you fucking lie to me?”
She started shaking her head frantically, her eyes fixed firmly on me again.
“I promise. I’ll stay away from your Ethan! He’s… he’s yours, I’ll stay away. Please just go and don’t come back.”
I waved the knife at her again.
“Always watching, Suzy. Don’t think you can play me, because I’m perfectly capable of being your worst nightmare.”
Ethan
BY SUNDAY NIGHT, I was no closer to working out my feelings about Ember, but I knew for sure that we needed to approach things differently from now on.
Starting tomorrow, I’d put a few things in place, to protect both of us, because we had to remain focused on her education being a priority. The girl was almost eighteen, but without at least some qualifications, she wouldn’t have the amazing futureshe deserved, so we had to make sure we made that happen, before anything else could even be considered.
What was I considering exactly? I couldn’t be considering taking things further with her, could I? Wasn’t this the kind of madness that I’d been trying to avoid? She was so mature for her age at times, and so immature at others. She’d been through things no girl or woman should experience, and it had changed her forever, but that didn’t mean I should be thinking of her in any way other than as my student.
I was realising that the fact that Suzy hadn’t answered my phone call was probably a good thing, because that knee jerk reaction, to use her to forget someone else, was another sign of this inner asshole I didn’t know I truly was. It wouldn’t have been fair to use her in that way, and it would’ve only given her the wrong idea in the end. I didn’t want her, and I shouldn’t be leading her on, still, the fact that she’d have had a missed call on her mobile from me, and hadn’t even sent a text message, was a little unusual.
I sat on my bed, even though it was barely nine at night, and popped her a quick text;
