Page 43 of Sparks of Insanity
She slapped his face, the sound sharp and shocking in the sudden silence.
“Like you’re one to talk! All of you! You know you’re all capable of worse, and for the record, he didn’t rape me! He did what I asked him to do. Do you have any idea what it’s like being me? DO YOU?”
“What exactly do you mean by ‘I’m one to talk’,” Blaze demanded, checking the razor blade’s sharpness and shaking his head. “Anneka loves me. We love each other. We made a fucking life together. There’s nothing wrong with our relationship, fuck you very much.”
Jesus Christ. They were all worse than insane. Monsters. Psychos. Fucking sociopaths. Which one is it where they knowthey’re hurting people, and don’t care? I can’t remember in all the fucking terror.
“Wait, what’s this about? Are you people seriously attacking me for doing something you’ve all done before? How hypocritical can you-” My words choked off when the knife pressed tight against my jugular. One fucking move of that blade, and I’d bleed to death while they watched. Probably getting off on it. Crazy fucking people. How the hell was I in this situation?
“Blaze, eavesdropping is a family fucking trait, and you know that. You don’t think I’ve overheard some messed up crap in my life? Why do you think I went off at them in therapy? They’re depraved and twisted, and so are you. And thanks to all of you, so am I. And Ash. Maybe even Phoenix. Only Cole might get out before he’s completely fucked up. Dad, release Ethan. He didn’t rape me, so unless you’re disappointed he didn’t join the psycho club, you have no reason to threaten him.”
Gray didn’t release me, and his grip didn’t loosen even a little, but I knew something about him that he probably thought I hadn’t noticed. I locked both hands around his left arm, squeezing down on the area he obsessively rubbed at, the one with the really nasty burn damage I’d seen the one time he’d had short sleeves on. He hissed out a curse, and that arm weakened enough, that I could slam an elbow back and hit him in the chest, making the knife hit the floor.
“You motherfucker!” He yelled, holding his arm with his other hand, as he gritted his teeth against the pain. I didn’t necessarily want to hurt anyone, but I was a little less ready to die, now I knew these people were even worse than me. I’m the monster? Really?
From what I was hearing, these fuckers were all more twisted than I’d become. Maybe it was inevitable that I’d end up like this,surrounded by their depravity, like somehow it had seeped into my pores, and tainted me from the inside out.
Dory was so busy checking on Gray that neither of them were able to stop me from snatching up the knife, and I dodged around Blaze to get behind Em, whispering an apology to her as I dragged her back against me, the knife now at her throat. She was tense, but I knew she knew I wouldn’t hurt her. I just had to pray that those fuckers wouldn’t be so sure, or at least wouldn’t willingly risk her safety.
“Wow, you really want to die, don’t you?” Dory said, shaking his head as he caught Gray’s arm before he could come at me.
Blaze was still playing with that damn razor blade, but when Em moved slightly to put herself between me and him, I realised what she was telling me. He was the biggest threat to my life right now.
“You’re really going to use a teenage girl as a fucking shield? You fucking pussy,” Gray muttered, shaking free of Dory.
Blaze hissed and lifted his bleeding thumb from that razor blade, licking it and grinning at me with bloody teeth.
“Ah… it’s tasted blood now. It’ll never be satisfied unless it kills. Hmm… now who can I kill in here?”
“Blaze, shut up, you fucking psycho!” Em yelled, backing further into me. Was she afraid of her own brother? Was she afraid of any of them? All of them?
“Okay, this ends now,” I said, trying to sound calm and reasonable. “I’m not going to hurt her, as long as you all leave right now.”
“And if we don’t, Former Teach… you gonna carve up our baby girl right in front of us?” Gray called my bluff, and I groaned, passing the knife to Em.
“I don’t want to hurt her at all, but I’m losing every last semblance of who I was. Bringing her here was wrong, I know that. I tried to find the keys for the car, but I needed daylight forthat, and Jesus, I’m sorry. Kill me or don’t, whatever, but I’m not forcing her to stay with me.”
“Fucking right, you’re not forcing her to do a damn thing,” Gray yelled, but Dory rested a hand on his arm, hushing him for a moment.
“Tell us what happened.” The way he said it left no room for disagreement, and I was completely exhausted at this point, willing to say anything to get rid of them, all of them. Even Ember, because she was at risk here with me, and we all knew it.
“Why don’t I make some coffee? This could take a while.”
They sat down, but Blaze was still playing with that blade, and Gray had taken his knife back from Ember, when she came to help me with coffee.
“You can’t tell them, Ethan. They truly will kill you. I don’t want you to die, dammit.”
I picked up their three mugs and gestured to her to grab the others.
“Look, youshouldwant me to die, Em. You put your trust in me, and I abused it. I’m a fucking monster, just like your family apparently. Maybe that’s why you trusted me, because you could see it even when I couldn’t.”
“You’re not a fucking monster!”
“Language.”
I ignored her grumblings and set the coffees down for everyone, my shoes crunching on broken glass from last night. Fuck. We were making a real mess of this house I was supposed to be keeping safe for my cousins.
“Sit, and fucking talk. Enough stalling. We need to update Wilma soon, or she’ll be on our cases too.”
