Page 62 of Sparks of Insanity
“You need to eat or something. You can’t just be shut in there. What about the bathroom?”
“GO!”
Shit. I walked back to my room and dialled a number on my phone, because I had no idea what the hell to do. While I waited for my call to be answered, I lifted the rug and false floorboard, digging out a bathrobe to put on.
“Yo.”
I had the call on speaker, while I replaced the floorboard and rug.
“Blaze, I need help.”
“I’m on my fucking way. I’m killing the fucker, right?” He was practically growling at me, but I yelled his name to shut him up.
“Blaze!”
“What? You said you need help, ergo, that fucker is hurting you and you want me to dispose of him. I’ll bring all my sharpest stabby stuff.”
“No. I need you to talk to him.”
He laughed, but realised eventually that I wasn’t laughing with him.
“You’re serious? What the fuck can I possibly talk to him about?”
I pulled my robe tighter, cinching the belt in a knot.
“I think… I think he might have had some kind of breakdown, and I don’t know how to help him. He barricaded himself in his room.”
I heard a door slam and then his car starting up, before he spoke again.
“Tell me everything, and I mean that. Don’t hold anything back, or I can’t help. Ha. Like I can help anyone.”
Ethan
THE WORST THING ABOUT being locked in this place, and barricaded in my fucking room, is that I had no way to do what I now knew I needed to. See, I’d turned into a rabid dog, hadn’t I? Even fucking biting Ember, like she somehow deserved to be treated that way.
Something had cracked inside my mind, and the only solution was to remove the threat to her safety. I mean, besides herself, because that was exactly what I was trying to avoid. No, I had to remove me from her life. That’s hard to do when you’re locked in a place, but see, all I needed was something sharp, and time to bleed out.
Sure, she’d be upset, but then she’d come to realise that she’d fooled herself into believing I was worth being around. She’drealise that I was nothing but a fucking monster, who hurt her for the sake of hurting her.
Every time I’d lashed out at her, I hadn’t needed to, but that line between me being normal and me losing my fucking mind, was just too easy to cross. I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t control it, and the only way to make sure I didn’t hurt her again, was to end my life now. To protect her.
I eventually found what I needed, and it was all down to my little tantrum, so apparently that had been a good idea, right? I’d broken a mirror. That part didn’t bother me, because what possible further bad luck could befall a guy who was about to die, right?
I could wait for Ember’s dads, but to be honest, I didn’t want to give them the satisfaction. They didn’t deserve to make this choice for me. It was mine to make.
I moved into the far corner of the room, eyeing the pale carpet regretfully, because it was about to be destroyed. Before I could talk myself out of it, I used the jagged piece of broken glass to slash across my left wrist. I hissed out a gasp at the burning pain, and transferred the glass to my other hand, already noting how they were trembling. Fear? Panic? Knowledge of impending death? I had no idea.
I sliced through the skin on my other wrist and dropped the shard of mirror beside me, leaning back against the wall. Let the Cross family explain this mess I was making, because they’d caused it. Every drop of this blood was ultimately on their hands.
The blood wasn’t flowing as fast as I’d expected, but it was making me feel lightheaded already, or maybe that was just the knowledge that my life force was bleeding out of me.
As my eyes started to drift closed, I heard a loud bang, but I didn’t have the strength to force my eyes back open again, as the darkness descended fully.
35
Ember
Blaze had turned uppretty fast, looked me over, declared he was going to kill Ethan, and charged at his door, kicking it brutally, until it opened enough to force the heavy chest of drawers away from it. Ethan was in the far corner behind the bed, and he didn’t move as Blaze ran across the room to accost him, with me running behind him, screaming at him to stop.
