Page 119 of Ryder
“What?” He looked furious all of a sudden. “You fucker. How exactly am I that?”
“In case something goes wrong. You’ll be able to tell them.”
“Tell who?”
He was still not looking at me, glaring instead at his brother.
“Ice, if this stuff fucks me up, you can make sure the rest of the club know that I did this willingly. That I chose it. In fact, it was my idea, and she… you can see how reluctant she is, right? You can make sure there’s no retribution.”
Oh god! “No! My god, I’m not doing this! It was bad enough the last time. It’s… Ryder… it could hurt you. It could kill you!”
“Fuck’s sake.” That was Ice. “They say even a tiny dose will have some effect, so we’ll start small. If you’re really stupid enough to try this, we’ll give you a fucking micro dose. See how little is actually needed, to make you all fucking helpless and kitteny, like you want to be.”
Ryder stood up, nodding.
“Yeah, let’s do that. Ice, you’re gonna hit me with it. I don’t want Tori even having to touch that stuff.”
Ice groaned, shaking his head.
“I’m not being a part of your fucked up sex games, man. This is too fucking depraved, even for me.”
I didn’t even want to know what constituted just depraved enough for someone like Ice.
“I’m not agreeing to this either, Ryder.”
He crouched in front of me again, his eyes wide and earnest, maybe even a little desperate.
“Baby, I want to be with you, but I’m a selfish fucker though. I don’t just want to relive it by watching videos, and jerking off beside each other.”
“Jesus.”
“What I’m saying is that I want to watch as it happens. I want to feel you. Feel your body against mine. Feel your touch. Your lips. I want to feel that wet pussy as it slides down on my dick. I want to feel your pussy clenching around my dick when you come.”
“My god, I wish I’d fucking doped myself up, before I had to hear this.” Ice was pacing, and muttering, and oddly it helped.
“What if it makes you ill?” I whispered, and Ryder shrugged.
“So what? The other stuff did too, and I didn’t get to enjoy what happened before that. This way I can. It’s worth it.”
Ice was still muttering to himself, only it was low enough now that we couldn’t make out his words.
“Do we know what’s in it?”
Ice stepped up close again.
“We don’t have a fucking clue. All they told me is start small, and watch for fucking convulsions.Apparently that’s a possibility. Doc will fucking kill you, if this stuff sends you to the infirmary. You get that, right?”
“It’s too dangerous,” I said, trying to get Ryder to see sense.
He snatched the syringe from Ice’s hand, where he’d been holding it like it was poison, or like it might bite him.
“Hey!”
“You don’t help me, I’m gonna fuck this up.” He aimed the syringe at a vein in his arm, and Ice threw his hands up.
“Fine! Fuck’s sake. Give me that thing before you kill yourself.”
Ryder passed him the syringe, leaned down and kissed me on the lips, and then he walked over to the bed. He lay down, and crooked his finger at me.
