Page 30 of Ryder
“Are you sure none of the things she doped me with caused it?”
He rubbed his stubbly jaw, thinking for a moment.
“It’s unlikely. I know you’re not someone who takes any substances, apart from alcohol and caffeine, but I think it’s more to do with the emotional effect of being forced into something out of your control.”
I looked away from him. “I’m not emotional.I’m pissed as hell.”
“Angerisan emotion, moron. My point is, that you’re deeply affected by what happened, and while you’re in a mess in your head, the chances are that your junk is gonna stay dormant. If I were you, I’d get drunk, and see what happens when your inhibitions are lowered.”
Yeah, like I haven’t already tried that in the privacy of my room. Still, I shrugged at him, because what I wanted right now was for this conversation to be over.
“Whatever. What I need to do is punch some people, or find the bitch who messed me up, and carve her up real good.”
He stood up, shaking his head. “While that may appease the anger in you, I doubt it’s going to be a magical fix. Still. Stranger things have happened. Just please, make sure you’re directing this anger at the right person. The last thing you want is to hurt some innocent person yourself. It’s not gonna help your mental state.”
I headed for the door, because this room was stifling me, and our conversation was fucking me up even more.
“I promise I’ll ask first if she’s the bitch who raped me. Anything else, doc? Any more pearls of fucking wisdom for me?”
He sighed. “Yeah,get the fuck out of my infirmary.”
That I could do.
My god, how I’dmissed the thrill of the ride. My bike rumbling beneath me, the road flashing beneath my tyres. Scenery disappearing into a blur. Wind rushing at my face. I’d worn my open helmet, with bandana and sunglasses, purely because I wanted to feel every breath of air on me. I’d been trapped indoors for too fucking long.
Everything else that had been plaguing me just fell away, and left me to just enjoy the ride. This is what I was made for. What I lived for. This was why I existed. Raw pleasure flowed through me as I rode, and I just kept going, heading for the country roads, the ones where there were twists and turns, and far less traffic, so I could ease up my speed, and really feel it.
We stopped at a roadside café, easing our bikes up off the road, making sure they were safe, before we grabbed the only available outside table, and ordered coffee.
“Jesus, I needed that,” I finally muttered, noticing Torch had kept his trap shut since he’d ordered his drink.
He nodded. “Good day for a ride, brother. Hoping you’re gonna stop your kamikaze impression on the way back though.”
I frowned, turning my eyes away from the road, where I’d been watching the occasional car whizz past, while I relished the warm air, and the outdoors, after being cooped up for so long.
“What?”
He jabbed a finger at me. “You were pushing it, and you know it. These roads are deadly, even in good weather, and you were going hell for leather. I know you’ve missed it. I know you’re in a mess right now, but I don’t want to be watching you get mopped up off the fucking road, yeah?”
Our coffees arrived, and we fell silent, until we were alone again.
“I was just enjoying it. I was being careful.”
He quirked a single brow. “Yeah, and I’m just a worrywort. You know you were being a dick. You were being reckless. It’s like you wanted to crash, and suffer for it.”
I added sugar to my coffee, turning to watch the quiet road again.
“I was just relishing the ride, brother. Nothing more in it than that.”
He leaned forward, jabbing me in the chest.
“I’m the one who convinced Reacher you were safe. I pretty much fucking begged him to let you get out and get some air. Get some road. You wanna prove me wrong? Make me look like a prick? Even worse, make me have to go back and tell them that my little act of kindness got you killed?”
Jesus. I held up a hand. “Got it. I’m sorry. I was just a bit stir crazy, and it felt like heaven being on the road again. I’ll take it easy going back. I promise.”
He leaned back in his seat.
“I knew you needed this. They were gonna keep you in for at least another day. I know I’d be losing my mind in your position.”
