Page 103 of Ryder
“Yes, but I shouldn’t have.”
“I knew you’d start to rethink it after you came back down, but just consider this. What happens in a couple’s bedroom is their business, and there are all kinds of kinks and things that people are into, that others would not get. So this is ours, and you know what? If this is how we do things, I’m okay with it.”
“So if you never get to fuck me like normal people do, you’ll just be okay with it?”
Would I? Yeah, because this could be enough, but maybe also because I wasn’t convinced that it would always be this way. Over time, things might evolve, and she’d feel safer to try other things, and maybe she wouldn’t. However long it took, one day she’d get past this, and she’d want me, and I’d spend that time helping her get there.
“Yeah. I’ve never felt so close to you as I did just then. I… uh…” I trailed off then, knowing I was about to freak her out, but wanting to be completely honest with her.
“What?”
“Jesus… I really wanted to kiss you. When I saw you kissing me on that video, I was so fucking gutted that I hadn’t been able to kiss you back.” Her eyes lowered at my words, and I saw her taking a deep breath to fortify herself again.
“Yeah… and how long before you feel the same way about feeling me taking your cock, Ryder?”
Thirty-Two
He was saved bythe bell. He didn’t have to answer my extremely valid question, because his phone, which was still synced up with his laptop, flashed up a message from Reacher. Two words. ‘Church. Now.’
He didn’t hesitate. He cursed a lot, but he grabbed his cut from the sofa, and headed for the door, promising to be back as soon as he could.
It helped, actually, having some time alone. What we’d just done was beyond fucked up, and it had just driven home how tenuous this whole situation was. He might say he’s satisfied now, with being unconscious for sex, and jerking off to videos later, but that wouldn’t last. Already he’s saying that watching me kiss him made him want to do it for real.
A day would come, very soon, where he’d be insisting that we take it further, and as his ‘old lady’ would I be able to refuse him? Or would it be just ‘expected’ that I start improving at a pace that suits him, because I’m his?
I wished that I could speak to someone about it, preferably another woman in this life. I wasn’t sure there was one though, and Alicia was the only other woman I knew here, but I wasn’t sure what her situation was. Ryder had said his president was into her, so did that mean she was also pretty much being forced to stay here with him? Was it right for either of us?
I’d pretty much decided to try making a break for it, when Ryder suddenly crashed back into the room. I was on my way to the door, and as he slammed it shut, and leaned against it, he frowned at me.
“Going somewhere, sweetheart?”
Shit. I shrugged. “Bored. Is everything okay?”
He cursed, scrubbing a hand roughly over his face.
“Yeah, just fucking peachy.”
Someone pounded on the door, and he cursed again.
“Fuck off.”
“Come on, man.” I didn’t recognise the voice, but Ryder moved and opened the door.
Two men were there, and I recognised them now; Has-Been and Torch. He let them in, and slammed the door hard.
“Hey, Tori.”
“Hi.”
They both greeted me, and I waved a little.
“What happened?”
Ryder cursed again, and headed for the freezer, where I knew he kept a bottle of vodka. He slammed it down on the counter, and I noticed Torch shoving him out of the way to pour drinks, before he smashed the bottle.
Has-Been approached me slowly, stopping a few feet away.
“How are you doing, girl?”
