Page 59 of Ryder
“Club President?” She whispered, and he nodded, a small smile on his face.
“You’re safe with Ryder, you know that, yeah?”
“Yes.”
He turned to me. “Anything you need, brother, just shout. I’ll put some prospects outside again for you. Use them for whatever you need.”
I nodded. “Thanks, Pres. Uh… I need to check back in with Doc tomorrow, but I guess we need a debrief?”
He glanced at Tori again. “Church tomorrow. We’ll work around you.”Wow.
“Thank you,” Tori whispered, and then I left him behind, and made my way to my room. It wasn’t the way I’d wanted her in my bed, but it was pretty clear to me now, that she was meant to be there.
Once I’d stepped inside my darkened room, and pushed the door closed, I finally breathed a sigh of relief, because we were alone. For the first time with both of us aware of it.
“I can’t hit the light switch without jostling you, so I’m gonna take you to the bed first, okay?”
Tori nodded, her face pressed against my chest. I knew my room well enough to navigate it in the dim light, making my way without incident to the bed, but the second I looked at it, I cursed.
“Fuck… I should get the bed remade first.”
Tori groaned. “It’s fine. I’m hardly clean myself.” The next sound she made was a broken sob, as she buried her face in my t-shirt again.
Twenty-Two
Now that my bodywas starting to come back to life, all I could think about was how he’d been all over me, and I would never feel clean again, never feel like me again, because he’d broken me. He’d tortured me, making sure I felt everything, and then he raped me. A decade after I thought he’d destroyed me, I realised he’d succeeded this time.
Ryder cursed, cupping the back of my head as I sobbed into his hard chest. How I wasn’t freaking out at the closeness, I had no idea. Was it just that he was the closest thing to a safe haven? Was it that I’d been obsessed with him since I’d been with him? Was it more than that?
“What can I do, Tori? You want me to take you to the bathroom, so we can clean you up?”
I nodded, unable to speak while sobs still gushed out of me.
“Okay, darlin’. I’ve got you, okay?”
He carried me to the bathroom, and looked around for a moment, before he eased me down to sit on the closed toilet seat.
“Sorry, it’s not much, just a shower. Will this be okay?”
I glanced around the small bathroom, which, for a man’s bathroom, was pretty clean.
“Yes. I… will you help me?”
He ran a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath, then he crouched in front of me. His eyes were full of compassion as he spoke.
“How can we do this so it doesn’t scare you, or make things worse? I can obviously keep my clothes on, and help you stand in the shower, but can you… do you need me to… uh…”
“My arms are weak. I, Jesus…I might need help getting clean.” Ryder swallowed hard, clearing his throat.
“Okay. Uh… you okay here for a moment? I want to grab something for you to wear after.”
I nodded, but the moment he left the room, I started to breathe fast, like being alone was too much. I could hear him moving around in the bedroom, but I was alone, and in a strange place. By the time he returned with a bundle of clothing, I was lightheaded and gasping, my whole body trembling.
“Fuck. Hey… I’m here. What do you need, Tori?”
“Don’t… please don’t leave me alone.”
He watched me for a moment, reaching up to push my hair back from my forehead in a gesture so gentle, I barely felt it.
