Page 63 of Ryder
“Uh… I’ll… I should sleep on the sofa, so I’ll leave you to settle down when you’re ready.” I started to walk away, but I heard her breathing change.
“I don’t blame you,” I think she said, and I turned back to face her.
“What was that?”
Her cheeks darkened a little, and she focused on setting her empty mug aside, and sliding down into the bed.
“I said goodnight.”
“Bullshit. What was that?You don’t blame me?Blame me for what?”
I stood at the foot of the bed and watched, as she looked everywhere but at me.
“I’m giving you space, but I’m not leaving the room, Tori.”
She turned on her side, away from me.
“I didn’t say you should.”
“No, you spouted some crap about not blaming me. You blame me for what happened with him?”
She sat up, then gasped and grabbed her stomach. Fuck!
I rounded the bed in two steps, and crouched beside her.
“Sick?”
She shook her head. “Cuts.”
Oh.
“Tell me what you’re thinking, please. I know I have no right to ask, but I want to understand what you meant. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone, not even you.”
Her lips quirked briefly. “Not even me, huh?”
“Tori.” I know my tone showed my frustration now.
“I said I don’t blame you, for being disgusted by me. I would be too in your position. I mean, I am. I’m… I did something awful to you, and now I’m… he’s been… and I’m a mess, and I don’t blame you for wanting to be away from me.”
What the actual fuck?
“I’m trying to give you space by being over there. I’m trying to be fucking respectful and considerate. I don’t want to scare you, or make you feel trapped. I mean, I’m a stranger to you, Tori.”
Her eyes lowered again. “I don’t want you to be away from me. I feel safer with you beside me. But I don’t want to force you, not into anything, ever again, Ryder.”
Motherfucker. I hesitated for a moment, arguing with myself over what was the right thing to do, and what I wanted to do, and then I walked around and climbed back on the bed, staying on top of the covers. I rolled onto my side to stare at her, and she slithered back down in the bed, staying on her back for a moment.
“Thank you for letting me stay here tonight,” she whispered, turning her head at last to look at me.
I nodded, keeping my mouth shut, before I said something else to screw up this tentative peace between us. Clearly I had a lot to learn about women, aboutthiswoman.
“I’ll be out of your way tomorrow,” she said next, and I smirked.
“We’ll see, darlin’.”
I saw a small frown before she relaxed again, and then she suddenly gasped. Jesus, did she hurt herself again?
“Oh my god. You killed Dom!”
