Page 10 of Ice
And had I just given up my afternoon off for him? Perhaps, but it was worth it. Sometimes patients needed to talk, and putting them off made them hold it in instead. So it was purely to help him that I’d stayed on.
“Lissa, your next appointment is here.” Next appointment. She meant my only appointment for the afternoon. The afternoon I’d planned to spend at the local spa, getting the knots massaged out of my shoulders and back. Why the hell had I set aside my own self-care for him? He’d been borderline aggressive with me last time.
As I reached for the door and pulled it open, he was already standing right on the other side. It actually made me jump, and he grinned, looking me up and down again. The way he did it was more like a physical touch than a mere glance. A slow caress, warm skin against warm skin.
I backed up a step, trying to hide how my heart had sped up, just from that glimmer of his attention. I absolutely couldn’tdevelop feelings for a recovering addict, especially one under my care. It was unethical, and it wasn’t in his best interests, or mine.
“You gonna shut that door, or are you suddenly afraid to be alone with me?” Ice’s voice was low, and that sent a flicker of a tingle down my spine. This was going to go badly. I could already feel it.
I turned to show him my practiced façade of serenity, as I closed the door.
“I was just giving you time to bolt, you know, if you really wanted to get away.”
He smirked, sitting down on my sofa.
“Touché.”
I followed him, and took my usual seat, carefully crossing my legs, although I saw his eyes follow the movement anyway.
“I’m glad that you returned, Ice.”
He raised his eyebrows, a sharp look in his eyes.
“You mean after you told on me to my Club Pres, and got me a clip round the ear?”
I shouldn’t have smiled, but I couldn’t help it.
“That amuses you, huh? Just so you know, that’s not how it works. I piss the Pres or VP off, and I’m more likely to get a broken nose, or a black eye.Just saying.”
My gasp in response caused him to smile this time.
“Yeah, now you’re getting it. Actually all they did today was warn me that it’s this, or I’m out. So you see, I’m here, but not by choice. And not because I have any faith in this process, or your skills. I’m just fucking here because I have to be.”
Ouch. I took a deep breath.
“Shall we just sit in uncomfortable silence for the hour then? Perhaps that’ll help you pretend that you give a crap about your health and survival.”
He stared silently at me, his eyes wider than normal.
“Wow…she bites… or was that a verbal spanking? A prelude to an actual spanking?”
His attitude wasn’t unusual, but his words were confusing.
“Is… is it easier for you if I’m responding with frustration or anger? I don’t want to cause those emotions for you, but I understand that you’re angry with this entire process.”
He didn’t answer, staring at the jug of ice water on the table. Beside it was the empty plastic glass, because I hadn’t offered this time. Last time it had pissed him off. He cleared his throat.
“Uh… may I?” He pointed at the water, so I nodded. Interesting. Maybe he only likes it if it isn’t offered to him as a gesture of support or caring.
He poured a half glass and sipped it, cradling the glass in his hands, as he leaned his elbows on his knees. He wasn’t sitting comfortably, or in a position that said he planned to stay. He looked ready to leave.
“Ice… I understand that this isn’t where you want to be. Trust me, it’s not where anyone wants to be.”
“You understand? Like you’ve been in my shoes? Or you just had a whole bunch of training at some pretentious university that makes you think you understand?” Anger. I straightened in my seat. I knew how to handle anger. We see a lot of it here.
“My experiences are not your concern, Ice. What I’m talking about is wanting to help you with yours. You’re struggling right now, because the chemicals you used as a crutch, to get you through each day, were taken away from you. In fact… I have to say, I’m surprised that it’s taken three weeks to seek counselling at all. Why were you not asking for help from day one?”
He smirked at me, that anger still right there at the surface.
