Page 26 of Ice
“Sorry, I can be a dick… well, most of the time.”
I rubbed my thumb over his hand, watching as he squeezed his eyes shut against another barrage of pain.
“The drugs you used to take… the stuff you’re trying to stay away from now… what were they?”
He took a breath. “Cocaine, mostly. I dabbled with a few other things, but cocaine and ecstasy were the ones that distracted me the most. Why?”
“I’m your rehab therapist. I’m supposed to talk to you about that stuff.”
He snorted, giving me the side-eye.
“Rather than getting all hot and bothered, when I’m too close to you?”
Wow, he just went right in for the kill.
“Yeah, Ice… despite your name, you made me hot. Are you happy?”
He winced again. “Yeah. Fucking ecstatic, or at least I will be once this is over.”
He caught my frown, and shook his head slightly.
“The pain, not my time with you. Although this is the longest session you’ve probably ever had with an addict, right?”
“Ice, I don’t know what the hell this is anymore, but I’m not leaving you in pain like this. Would… would massage help it? Or, I don’t know… muscle sprays or rubs?”
He stared down at my hand in his.
“While I’d fucking love these delicate hands on me, Lissa, I have to say, touching it right now would be bad. And I can’t rub anything into it, because I might trigger another bout of this shit. And sprays? I think you’re not supposed to use them near your face or neck. Now, admittedly, I’m a stubborn bastard, and a biker, and a man, so I’m surprised I didn’t try it anyway, but I figured I was miserable enough already.”
I smiled, because it seemed to be the right response, but inside I was hurting for him. Wishing I could help. Wishing I could fix him.
“Doc, don’t look so sad. It’s easing, I think. I’ll be fine.”
Twelve
Idon’tknowwhatwasworse. The agonising pain, or the fact that she was right next to me, smelling so fucking good, with her warm hand in mine, and I think… I really think, that if I could move enough to try and kiss her, that she’d let me. More than that. I think she’d fucking kiss me back.
That hand she’d had on my knee. It just made me crave more of her touch. Her warmth. My only regret, well, apart from being fucking crippled by pain at the same time, was the fact that her hand wasn’t touching my bare skin.
“Ice… I should probably go.” God no. I didn’t ever want her to go. Nobody had ever been aware of the pain I suffered so often. Nobody else had ever been with me through a bad bout of it. Nobody had ever, EVER, tried to nurse me through it, and fucking cared that I was in pain. It was breaking down every fucking wall I had tried to put up around me, because suddenly I wanted to let someone in.Her. Specifically her.
“Don’t.”
She swallowed hard, moving away from me a little, and straightening her skirt.
“I shouldn’t be here.”
Because it was her fucking day off. She’d chosen to see me on her day off, and that meant something, right?
“I’m sorry to take up your time.” My voice sounded huffy, but I didn’t mean it that way, not really. I just desperately wanted her to stay. I didn’t want to be alone.
“I shouldn’t be making myself available like this. It’s… it’s not appropriate.”
I tried to move, cursed, and stilled again, as another spasm sank its teeth into me.
“Why did you, then? Why are you here, doc? Am I just some patient or fucking client that you feel you have to protect, or is it more than that? Is that all I am, or am I a fucking person to you?”
Someone knocked on the door at that moment, and I flinched, and then cursed again as the spasm invited its fucking friend to the shoulder party.
