Page 60 of Ice
Has-Been:You okay, darlin? I’ll try, but he’s a stubborn fucker. If not, will you settle for second best? I can be a good listener.
I almost wished it was Has-Been I’d fallen for. He was so available, and kind. Was that all there was to it? It was more than that. He was considerate. He thought about others, and he worried about others. He was a former addict himself, but he was proof that there was life after drugs. Was that another reason he and Ice didn’t get on? I had no idea.
My phone rang then, and I grabbed it more eagerly than I liked to admit to myself.
“Lissa?” It wasn’t Ice; it was Has-Been. My heart sank, and I felt my stomach clench with disappointment, or was it sickness? Was it that I was so lovesick that I actually felt ill when he rejected me? How many more times could I take his rejection?
“Hi.”
He laughed quietly. “Oh, don’t sound so happy to talk to me, I might get the wrong idea.”
My god, I was being so rude.
“I’m so sorry. I don’t mean it like that.”
He laughed again. “Look, don’t ask me how we managed it, but I’m bringing him to your place. He wants to see you, and I like helping my brothers out. We’re actually on our way already, but he’s in a pissy mood as usual.Hey, fuck you too.“ I raised my eyebrows, but I’d heard muttering before he said that.
“That wasn’t aimed at you, darlin’, but I’m guessing you already figured that out though.”
“Give me the fucking phone!”
The phone went dead, and I sighed. They couldn’t even get on for five minutes, and there had to be a reason for it.
I only had to wait a few more minutes and a vehicle pulled up outside, a door slammed, and then a fist was banging on my door. I wrenched it open, desperate to see him, and I was immediately crushed against his chest as he stepped inside.
I dimly heard the van leaving, but all I cared about was the fact that he was here, he was in my house. He moved slightly, pushing the door closed with his foot, but he wouldn’t let go. I found myself crying quietly, now that I had him with me, now he was touching me.
“I’m so fucking sorry, Lissa. I missed you so fucking much.” He sounded upset too, and when I looked up to meet his eyes, I saw that his were red and wet, even as he reached up and rubbed at them.
“You’re really here.”
He grinned, sweeping his thumbs under my eyes, drying my tears for me.
“If I get my way, I’ll never be away from you again.”
I wished that could happen.
“I… want that too. I wish I didn’t have to leave.”
Twenty-Eight
ThechatwithReacherhad been heavy. I was still reeling from the things he’d revealed. Stitch might have cancer. He was recovering from a fucking biopsy, and surgery, and waiting to hear if he needed more surgery than he’d ended up having, or those horrible treatments that were supposed to cure it. What the fuck? He was going through that shit without us beside him for some stubborn ass reason too.
If that wasn’t bad enough, Reacher then told me about his own situation. Declared that if he was telling me Stitch’s secret, then he had to tell me his too, because if I lost it and turned on them, he’d rather I threw him under a bus instead of Stitch. As if I fucking would.
So my Club President was recovering from a fucking cardiac event or some shit, and at risk of a proper heart attack, the kind that could kill him. And all of this shit happened while I was sleeping. While my family needed me, I was drifting in a cloud of nothingness, not feeling a damn thing.
I felt so guilty for what they were going through, without the support of any of us, because they felt that they had to hide it, or risk losing their club. And then there was me, and my fucked up addiction, which was just adding more shit to their worries. Jesus.
And now she’s fucking leaving me? I finally get to see her, and that’s the first thing she fucking tells me?
“You’re what?”
Lissa sniffled again, and stepped back from me, too fucking far away. I needed her in my arms, and she was distancing herself. What the actual fuck.
“Are you seriously doing this to me right now? I’ve been going nuts not being able to see you, and the second I do, you’re telling me you’re fucking leaving me?”
She sighed, her breath hitching again.
