Page 99 of Ice
Ice shook his head. “It’s okay, babe, go back to sleep. I’ll read or something until you get up. I can’t sleep now.”
I slid out of bed, and followed him to the kitchen, carefully hugging him from behind, pressing my face against his warm back.
“I’m sorry, Ice. Maybe I shouldn’t keep encouraging you to chase me, and do the other rough stuff.”
He tensed in my hold, and let out a string of curses, before he rested a hand over mine.
“For fuck’s sake, please don’t stop doing that. I love it, and I think I kinda need it. That makes me some kind of fucked up asshole, I know.”
I rubbed my face against his shoulder blade, then pressed my lips gently against it, because it was the one hurting him.
“I’m sorry.”
“Jesus, for what? This isn’t your fault.”
I moved, letting him turn to face me.
“I mean for touching your shoulder right now. I don’t want to cause you more pain.”
Ice dragged me against him, wrapping his other arm around me, his lips touching my forehead.
“I don’t think there is a ‘more pain’ right now, but it’s okay. I need to learn to deal with it, you know, without… uh… what was it you so eloquently called it? Oh yeah, a chemical crutch. You want a coffee?”
I dragged him away from the counter, and ‘accidentally’ groped his ass as I moved past him to take over.
“I’ll make it, please go and sit down.”
Ice touched my hair, and then suddenly he was gripping it tightly, pulling my head back toward him.
“Just so you know, darlin’, I fully intend to make you pay for groping me at some point. Might even let you enjoy it, if you’re a good girl.” His whispered words made desire coil inside me, and I barely bit back the moan that very likely might have turned into words. Words like ‘god yes’, or ‘do me now’, or something else equally needy.
I shuddered in his hold until he winced again, and backed off.
“Sorry, babe. I can’t hold you right now, but I will, I swear. Fucking shoulder.” He leaned back against the counter, and lowered his head, one hand gripping the spasming shoulder.
“Let me find your pills.”
“There aren’t any now, but it’s okay, I just need to bear it until it goes away.”
“Why didn’t you buy more pills, Ice? You can’t go through this without help.”
He glanced up at me then, his eyes tormented as the pain wracked his limb.
“Doc told me they’re a risk, because I’m a fucking addict. Basically, my weakness for drugs means I can’t risk taking anything strong enough to maybe help with my pain. Ironic, isn’t it? I took drugs to try and bear the agony, and now I’m forced to suffer with it, because I can’t risk using again.”
Forty-Seven
Ifshewasn’there,I’d be looking for something right now. Anything to help stop the pain for even a few minutes. Damn, this was actually the hardest part. Not the constant urge to use… not even the way it felt like I itched inside, but this… the fact that I was in agony, and I couldn’t take a damn thing for it.
“Ice?”
I almost snapped at her, because pain had me so on edge, but I took a deep breath, clenching my fist tightly.
“Yeah…”
“Doc knows?”
Oh. I nodded, watching her fill the kettle and switch it on. She rummaged for mugs in my cupboard, and it reminded me that mine was gone.
