Page 13 of Ice
Me:I need another appointment – Damon Silver.
I was finally drifting off to sleep, when I received a reply. It wasn’t from the same number, but it was definitely a response to my message, because why else would whoever it is message me right now?
Unknown:Are you okay?
Was it her? Someone else? Should I reply? If I didn’t, they might think I’m not okay. Shit. Why did I start this?
Me:Yeah, just wanted to book with Dr Chase as soon as I can.
Again there was a delay, and in those few minutes, I sat and cursed myself for wasting their time. I actually, unbelievably, wasn’t on the verge of falling off the wagon right now, so I shouldn’t be bothering them.
Unknown:I can do Monday morning. 10am.
Fuck. It’s her. Did my heart just speed up? Wuss.
Me:This is Dr Chase talking to me?
Unknown:Yes. I’m on call. Is the appointment suitable?
Jesus. I wanted to hear her voice, and how fucked up is that? I’ve met her exactly twice, and I was rude to her both times. I was an absolute dick.
Me:Dr Chase, can we talk?
HotDoc:Monday. 10am.
I tried ringing the number. Why did I add her in my phone book as HotDoc? She was definitely hot, and a doctor, but it was intrusive. Somehow, in some way, it was wrong.
She didn’t answer my call, and why the fuck should she? Worse than that, she must have hit reject, because it cut off fast, and she had no voicemail either.
Me:I’m sorry.
She kept me waiting long, agonising minutes again, and what the fuck? Was it some kind of power thing?
HotDoc:For ringing me?
Fucking hell. This was even harder than talking to her face to face.
Me:For being an asshole. Earlier. Both times. Every fucking time. You didn’t deserve that.
I messed with my phone, desperately hoping she’d message back.
DocChase:Apology accepted. You’re not the first to lose his temper with me. You won’t be the last.
I tried ringing her again, and again she didn’t answer.
Me:Please. I just need to tell you how sorry I am. I need to say it to you. This messaging thing is shit. You can’t tell that I’m sincere.
DocChase:I already accepted your apology. I’m not doubting your sincerity, Ice. I doubt you’d be awake and messaging me if it hadn’t bothered you.
Me:Did it bother you?
I was glad I’d changed her name. It felt more appropriate. She wasn’t mine. Giving her a sexy name on my phone wasn’t right. It wasn’t acceptable.
DocChase:Well, I won’t say I *understand* why you were angry…
Was that a joke? Was she joking with me? I felt a grin on my face, and it felt unfamiliar. How long had it been since I had a reason to smile? Or laugh?
Me:Thank you. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I appreciate it.
