Page 37 of Ice
“You are safe, doc, always safe with me. I mean, you’re safefromme. Does that make sense, or am I in schoolboy mode again?”
His words were probably supposed to increase the feeling of safety, but instead they hurt. Safe from him? As in, he wasn’t interested in me at all?
I pulled away, and he released his hold on me, his forehead creasing.
“Clearly I did just fuck up. What did I say that was so wrong? Doc? Lissa, for fuck’s sake, talk to me.”
I choked back a bitter sob. “That’s supposed to be my line. Always my line. I’m the one everyone talks to. The one everyone lays all of their problems on. The one they yell at, and threaten, and hate. Do you know how that feels, Ice? Going home, and crying into a glass of wine, while my mind replays all of the hateful things they say to me? Calling me things like ‘posh’, ‘pretentious’, ‘know-it-all’, like underneath my appearance, I’m not just a fucking person too. With problems, and fears, and… and nobody to go home to. Nobody to talk to. Nobody to hold me, while I cry.”
I don’t know how those words even all made it out, because I was crying so hard by that point, that they must have sounded like complete gibberish. But Ice? He just cursed, and grabbed me, pulling me over to his bed, and then into his lap, so he could hold me against his warm chest again, and soothe me while I cried, just like I said nobody ever does. Just like nobody ever has.
When I felt him press his lips against my temple, I felt the last of my resistance melting away. Why was I fighting my feelings for him? Why was I putting my duty before our connection? How often did people even feel this?
“Ice?”
He hummed a response as I lifted my head, but there was a wary look in his eyes.
“I think I need that kiss therapy again.” His lips stretched into a wide grin. Was that relief?
“I can do that.”
He stroked my cheek, staring into my eyes for a moment, and then he leaned closer, his lips brushing lightly against mine, and again. It was the teasing touch from before, the light press of lips, the gentle caress, when I wanted more from him. Needed it.
I reached up and grabbed the back of his head, trying to encourage him to deepen the kiss, to kiss me hard, and in that possessive way that I just knew he could.
I felt his lips smiling against mine, and let him retreat an inch, no more.
“You got a problem with the way I’m kissing you, doc? Am I not satisfying you?”
“Dammit, Ice, kiss me. Kiss me properly, or don’t fucking bother.”
He chuckled, and then his lips touched mine again. This time they were firm, demanding, and finally,finally, he gave me what I wanted; him, his tongue easing against mine, his lips owning mine, his mouth taking what I wanted to give.
Suddenly his name seemed impossible, and ironic as hell, because there was nothing icy about him. He was all heat. All intensity. All consuming. And I really wanted to be consumed by him.
When he pulled back, his breathing faster, just like mine, he grinned.
“Was that more like it? You just gotta tell me what you want, doc, and I swear, if I’m capable, I’ll give it to you.”
I felt my cheeks burning.
“Was I being too needy?”
Ice slid his thumb over my bottom lip, staring at it for a moment.
“God no. You know, the toughest thing about satisfying women is how you all always expect us to know what the fuck it is you want. I just want you to fucking tell me. You want meon my knees, sucking on your clit, you tell me. You want to ride my face? Just say it. You want me to press you down on my bed, and ram my cock deep inside you, just say the words. If you can manage to tell me what you want, I can just focus on giving it to you.”
I opened my mouth to tell him all of those things, to ask for them, beg, even. He’d made it sound so easy. Just say it, and he’ll do it. Before I could utter a word, my confidence fled. It buggered off somewhere, and left me blushing and staring at him. Struck dumb by a sudden fear that I’d make a fool of myself, or that I’d ask for something he didn’t want to give.
“Wow. Is it literally against a woman’s wiring to just say what they want? Just say the words, doc. Just say, ‘fuck me, Ice’, and I swear to god, you’re gonna get my dick. I want to. I really fucking want you, but I need to hear you say it.”
Seventeen
I’dpissedheroff.She was trying not to rise to it, but I’d gone from tempting her to insulting her. I swear, everything in life was easier than understanding a woman. She’d pushed up from my lap, and stood in front of me, her hands twisting together. Maybe she wasn’t angry at all. Maybe she was upset, or afraid. I didn’t want her afraid, especially not here, not in my presence. I should be the one person she feels safe with.
“Lissa, uh… it’s late. Please stay here tonight. I’ll make sure we get you to work tomorrow on time. Okay?”
She nodded, glancing at the bed, and chewing her lip.
