Page 57 of Ice
Myfirstdaywakingup, unemployed and alone, was a nightmare I wished I could wake from. I had literally nothing to fill my day, and it loomed ahead, long and unbearably empty.
“I’m such an idiot.”
I forced myself to get out of bed, shower, and get dressed, although I just threw on a pair of tailored shorts, and a smart sleeveless top. My entire wardrobe was so smart, and businessy, and responsible. What a pity I hadn’t even measured up to the clothes I wore. And now they seemed so wrong, because what right did I have to dress that way, when I’d thrown everything away for a stupid mistake. Not Ice. Never Ice. He was the one thing in my recent life that made it worth waking up. But that damn drinking and driving incident. Had I really been so far gone over him that I’d put aside all of my common sense that night?
When my phone buzzed, I lunged for it, praying for something, anything to focus on, instead of the nothingness my life consisted of.
Cammy:Babe, meet me for a drink tonight. You need to talk to me, and I can just picture you sitting there, stewing over that bitch. Don’t do that to yourself.
She knew me terrifyingly well.
Me:I’m just not sure I’m in a company mood right now. Sorry x
The phone rang a moment later.
“Don’t give me that crap. I’m not company. I’m the closest thing you have to a best friend. So meet me for a drink, or I’ll be on your doorstep with wine at five thirty.”
I actually smiled. Thank god for Cammy.
“Wine is what got me into this mess, Cammy.”
She fell silent for a moment. “I’m such a bell-end. Okay, I’m bringing coffee, and muffins or something equally sweet and naughty.” Sweet and naughty. That made me think of Ice. Of his many sides. His many faces. He was so much more than he realised.
“Actually, you know what? I’m due an afternoon off, and it’s dead after 2pm. I’m coming to you as early as I can. So get that look off your face, and I’ll see you in a few hours.” A few hours? Wow. I’d slept in until almost eleven in the morning. I’d never done that before. Was it because I’d been awake until nearly four? Intermittently crying and wishing I’d die in my sleep?
I killed some time until she showed up, and she took one look at me and dragged me into a tight hug, her perfume wafting around us. Lily of the Valley. So pretty, and so her.
True to her word, she brought the biggest lattes possible with her, and a bag of muffins and cakes from the coffee shop. And that was something that hit me hard. With no salary, even a coffee shop treat was a luxury. I hadn’t realised just how much I relied on my better than average salary, to enjoy the nicer things in life. It was the one and only reason I’d worked for a private clinic, instead of a government funded one. Big mistake.
“So… tell me what happened.” We were sitting on my sofa, our legs curled under us, coffee on the table beside us, and sweet treats in hand. I was picking off small bites of blueberry muffin and enjoying every bite.
“It’s a mess, Cammy. I’m such an idiot.”
“I’ll be the judge of that.” She giggled. “Just kidding, but talk. You know it helps, because it’s what you do for others.” Damn. She had me there.
“I’m falling in love with Ice.”
She frowned, swapping her half-eaten cake for her coffee.
“The biker guy? He’s the only new one you’ve seen lately who seemed even remotely attractive.” Remotely attractive? He was fucking god-like.
“Yeah. He’s so… I mean, he has a lot of anger, and pain, but when he lets me in? My god… he’s the most amazing person. So sweet, and gentle, and intense. I… I can’t help but want him, and I know it’s wrong. So fucking wrong.”
Cammy sipped her latte. “So… you were fired for that? I thought you were fired for something else? A police matter?”
I wondered what the hell that bitch had told her.
“I got in a little deep with Ice. I was worried about him, and drove to the clubhouse, but I’d been drinking. I shouldn’t have driven, but I was an idiot. I got caught.”
Cammy watched me, her eyes wide.
“You… I don’t know what to say… was this before or after you guys started shagging?”
I didn’t want to betray Ice’s issues, or what happened, but I wanted to talk it all out.
“We haven’t. We almost did, but the timing was off. Uh… he got upset, and went back to his dealer.”
Cammy gasped out loud this time.
