Page 76 of Ice
I’d placed our order at the bar, and then I’d been perusing the rows of pictures on the far wall of random collections of bikers at various events, and some of them were pretty old. I could see that the club had changed a lot from image to image.
The pictures had gone from groups of gruff, angry looking men in black waistcoats that had a strange logo on them, to a younger generation of men who looked happier in the pictures. They bore the logo I was used to seeing on Ice’s and the other members’ clothes. It was like two different clubs, with a chillingly familiar face in some of the oldest images.
Before I could really even consider what I was seeing, I saw a beautiful woman walking in through the door. She made me feel old and plain in an instant. She must have been in her early twenties, and she could have been a model. Perfect figure, perfect glossy blonde hair, perfect everything.
She walked confidently over to me.
“Hi! I’m Jessica, and I’m looking for my man. His name’s Ice.”
My blood chilled as if actual ice flowed through my veins in that moment.
“Sorry, did you say Ice?”
She giggled, and even that was fucking beautiful. How could she be Ice’s, and if she was, or even had been, then what the hellwas he doing messing around with me? I was nothing like her. I wasn’t good enough at all. Maybe I was just a way for him to keep busy until she turned up, or even some kind of dependence, or transference because of his addiction, and me being his therapist.
“Ice is his road name, but trust me, he’s anything but cold. If you know what I mean.” She actually nudged me with her elbow, like we were girls in a bar chatting about a guy we weren’t both apparently fucking. How could he do this to me? He’d mentioned another woman, but made it sound like that was in the past, and clearly it wasn’t.
When I didn’t answer, she looked me up and down.
“Sorry, babe, guessing you’re new here, and probably uh… been preoccupied. I’ll go ask at the bar.”
As soon as she walked away, I ran for the stairs, because I should at least confront him, shouldn’t I? I made it as far as the middle of the corridor, and froze. I’d lost everything for him, and suddenly he didn’t feel like he was even mine. He suddenly felt like someone else’s boyfriend, and I’d been helping him cheat on her.
“Lissa? You okay, darlin’?” Has-Been had opened his door, and was standing just inside, with leather jeans on, but no shirt. I dimly noticed a lot of tattoos, but I couldn’t even focus, because my eyes were blurring with tears.
My breathing was wrong, and it sounded more like gasping. More and more like sobbing every second.
“Oh hell, come here, girl.” Has-Been dragged me against his chest, wrapping his arms around me, and then he stepped back into his room, closing the door.
“What’s he done?”
As soon as I pushed against his chest, wanting distance from his warm skin, skin that wasn’t Ice’s, he released me, and guided me to a leather chair across the room.
He crouched in front of me.
“Want a drink?” At my nod, he poured a glass of something that looked amber coloured, but I really didn’t care what it was. I downed it in several gulps, and whined softly when it burned my throat. Has-Been chuckled, and lifted the glass away.
“Okay, talk to me. Has he done something to you? Did he hurt you?”
I could feel the tears rolling down my cheeks as I shook my head, then nodded. Had he? Or had I built up an idea of what we were, without knowing him hardly at all? Was it really his fault, or was it mine? Had I built everything up in my head, and none of it was real to him? Was I really just a distraction, or random pussy to fuck for now?
He stayed crouched in front of me, with one hand on the arm of the chair, which I appreciated because I didn’t want him touching me too much. He was more tactile than he probably should have been, and I knew it’d piss off Ice. And then I remembered, Ice maybe had a girlfriend, and I was just, what… a way of killing time?
“He lied to me.”
“About what?”
“Jessica.” Has-Been frowned back at me.
“Who the fuck is Jessica?”
And as more tears flowed, someone knocked on his door, and all hell broke loose, and I ran out of chances to be with Ice anyway.
Thirty-Six
Whatafuckingshitshow!First of all, my lady fucking disappears on me, and then I decide I’m gonna be the bigger man, and apologise to that fucktard, and then? Then I find out he’s got my fucking woman in his room, and he’s half naked, AND mouthing off at me, like I’m the bad guy! That motherfucker!
It couldn’t get worse right? Except it did. Because right around the time I lunged at Has, and tried to punch his fucking lights out, I heard a voice at the bedroom door. A voice that shouldn’t fucking be there.
