Page 91 of Ice
“Anyway, if you’re not suffering with withdrawal symptoms right now, I’ll leave you in peace. I just wanted to make sure, and don’t worry, your shoulder is our secret. You’ll have to talk to Reacher though at some point.”
“Why?” I was following him to the door, and he stopped, lowering his voice.
“Because you and I both know you can’t fucking ride with an injury like that, and every time you do, you’re prolonging your pain, and worsening your injury.”
Lissa
ThereasonsforReacher’sexhaustion became clearer over the hour or so he sat with me. The man had so much to worry about, and half of the problem was how much he was having to keep to himself.
“I feel like I’m betraying a brother by talking to you about him, but Stitch… he’s my VP… he’s waiting to hear if he has cancer, and if he does? I don’t know what it means for him. I’m fucking heartbroken for him, and he’s staying away like he thinks it’s the best way to deal with it, but he needs to be here, with his fucking family.”
I nodded. “That’s a lot to deal with on his own, but does he have any reason to doubt that his brothers will have his back? The club seems pretty tight.”
“It is. We are. I mean, we weren’t always, but it’s a real brotherhood now. Truthfully, even though he won’t admit it, I think he’s worried about the stigma of it, like they’ll make a joke of it or something.”
“Because?”
“Because of where the lump was, darlin’.” I blinked.Oh.That poor man.
“So as well as the obvious threat to his health, and his concerns about his mortality, he’s dealing with a potential knock to his self-image, and masculinity too. No wonder he’s hiding away, but that might not be the best thing for him, Reacher.”
He huffed a sigh, resting his chin in his hands, which were propped on his knees.
“I know… I just don’t know how to make him come back. He’s staying with his sister, but I agree that he really fucking needs his brothers right now.”
“Maybe it’s time for an intervention? To show up in force, and show him that you’re all there for him, regardless of his prognosis? Remind him of where his home is.”
“And out his secret to everyone? Or force him to have to talk about it with them?”
I almost reached out a hand to him, he looked so lonely and afraid for a moment.
“I can be someone he can talk to, and he only has to tell them what he’s comfortable with. The problem with a lot of people is that they think they have to overshare, to be open with others. It’s not necessary. He doesn’t need to tell anyone anything he doesn’t want to share.”
Reacher was watching me closely, and I felt a little like this talk had been as much an interview for me, as it was cathartic for him.
“I’m sorry, Lissa. You’re better at this stuff than I realised, because I never gave you a fucking chance. I still don’t get why you haven’t kicked me the fuck out of here.”
I shrugged. “Partly it’s because I’m glad to have someone here, anyone. I’m not used to being alone all the time like this, and it’s so hard to be away from Ice. But also, it’s because I trained as a therapist for a reason. I like to listen, and I love to help. It’s all I want to do.”
He rubbed at the studs on his face.
“Jeez, keep piling on the guilt, love.”
“You do that a lot. Does it offer a distraction from your thoughts?”
“Huh?”
“You play with those studs. Everyone has tells. Stress reactions, signs of their agitation. You do that, and you run your hand through your hair. A lesser version is the way you stroke your beard, but they’re all tells.”
“Jesus. I’m not sure I want someone around who can read me like that. So between my health issues, and Stitch’s situation, and other club stuff, there’s been a lot going on. Ice’s addiction has been a problem for a while, but I mean, we’re just not prepared for how we handle shit like that.”
What he said next made my jaw hit the floor.
Forty-Three
Daytwoofmyisolation was the worst. Nobody visited. Nobody fucking spoke to me at all, and not talking to Lissa was tearing me apart. Eventually, I gave in, and opened the door.
“Can you check if Has will talk to me?”
