Page 16 of Stitch
“You do realise I’m not a therapist like Lissa?”
Reacher shot me a sidelong glance.
“I’m aware.”
“You’re telling me stuff that seems private. How do you know I won’t say anything? I mean, I won’t, but you’re trusting me without the assumed safety net of the confidentiality she has to offer.”
“Lissa trusts you, so why shouldn’t I? Besides, we already know everything about you.”
My heart thudded in my chest.
“You what?” Lissa wouldn’t have told them my business, would she? Did they know everything?
“Cammy, we have to know who’s affiliated with our people, so Ice had to do a full background check on you. That means I know a hell of a lot about you, but like you said, I’m not going to say anything.”
He knew. Oh god, he knew.
“You… you have to… oh god.” I stood up, and he reached out, catching my hand.
“Settle down, woman. Ice and me, we’re the only ones who know. He hasn’t even told Lissa. It’s your business, and it’s not a threat to ours, so it stays a secret.”
“But Stitch-”
“Is my VP, and normally he knows everything I know, but I appreciate that this is deeply personal, so it stays secret unless there’s some reason he needs to know in order to protect you.”
“Pro… protect me? No… I’ll run.”
Ten
Istared at myhands.
“I’m still waiting on news, but I know what it’ll say. It’ll say my time’s up, and I didn’t make good enough fucking use of it.”
Lissa shifted in her chair. We’d been in here forever, it felt like, longer than I think one of these appointments should be.
“Should I go? I should go, right? It’s late.”
She shook her head. “You had no set appointment time, Stitch, and sometimes it takes longer to open up. I have nothing else planned today, so you can take your time.”
Great, I’d been kinda hoping she’d boot me out, once I’d mentioned it.
“Time. Yeah, good one, doc.”
She grimaced. “Why are you so certain you’re out of time? You’re making assumptions in lieu of your results.”
She could be a little snippy, and I bet Ice fucking loved it. He was a snippy bastard himself sometimes.
“So I should just assume I’m completely healthy while I wait? Live like nothing’s different? It’s fucking impossible, because something is different. I’m missing a part of myself, and yeah, I know, probably doesn’t sound much. It wasn’t a limb, but you know what? It was a fundamental part of me as a man, and it’s gone. My life is forever changed by that one thing.”
My throat was suddenly dry, so I grabbed my glass, draining the last fewdroplets. Lissa leaned forward and poured more from the jug of no longer iced water.
“Stitch, of course it was a fundamental part of you. Everything is. What you went through would change anyone, but holding in what you feel won’t help you. And convincing yourself that it’s over, before you even know anything for sure, is unhealthy, because these thoughts weigh on you, and they will drain you of energy.”
“Yeah, I get that. I keep thinking if I found it earlier, would it be different now? I even wanted to get mad at the last girl who went down on me, because it was like, if she’d done it right, she’d have felt it, and then I realise what an asshole thought that is, because what if she did? What if she was horrified, and didn’t want to be the one to tell me it was there?”
The blood drained out of me as I looked at Lissa suddenly.
“Jesus, I shouldn’t be talking about that stuff with you. I’m sorry.”
